


The Queen's Ultimate Decision

by Seirona



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Eventual Smut, F/M, Forced Marriage, Gen, Multi, No Darkspawn, Parent-Child Relationship, Romance, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-12 08:52:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7928482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seirona/pseuds/Seirona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She is the Daughter of Highever, whereas he is a simple knight. After they spent countless summers together and grew closer, an arranged marriage to King Cailan now separates them. Will she be able to admit her feelings to her childhood love? Will she have to cut ties and live miserably with Cailan and pretend they've never loved each other? </p><p>  <i>AU - No Darkspawn</i></p><p>  <b>(Originally published on Fanfiction.net since 2015; unfinished)</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - The Daughter of Highever

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I want to thank you for actually clicking on this story. This is just a personal project, an idea that had been gnawing at my mind since I replayed Dragon Age: Origins (for the millionth time) back in 2015. And what's the best way to get rid of such an idea? Write it down and share it. I wanted to write a story where Alistair and the Female Cousland meet under completely different circumstances, since this is an AU without darkspawn, therefore there is no Grey Wardens... Aside from that, all of the lore and other miscellaneous canon is the same.
> 
> Also! I'll be using my own Female Cousland's name, Katharyne (pronounced like Katherine). As you're reading, feel free to use your imagination to change her appearance and your own Female Cousland's name while you read it. I truly hope you enjoy it… I'm really not the best writer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the length of the prologue; I wanted to set up the situation in as much detail as possible so that what's going on is clear! And that ended up being huuuge! Anyways, on to the story…
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Obviously, the characters and locations don't belong to me; they're Bioware and EA's and I'm simply using them to fuel this thing called my muse.

  Katharyne felt heavy in her heart as she watched the servants pack the remainder of her belongings in a travel case. The day she had dreaded for years on end was finally upon her. This was the day she was leaving for Denerim, to be married. Sitting on the large canopy bed and still watching the servants move about her room, she sighed as she brought her knees to her chin.

As the "daughter of Highever" and a Cousland, a family with power and influence second only to the King, she was engaged to marry King Cailan as soon as she arrived in the Fereldan capital city. They had been betrothed since her seventh year, but it had been agreed they would not marry until her twentieth.

Katharyne hopped off of the large bed when she noticed the servants had finished packing the last of her cases. They then proceeded to dress her into her travel clothes, a bottle green woollen dress with a high neckline to protect against the cold. A dark green hooded travel cloak lined with dark mink fur was thrown and tied over her shoulders before one of the servants started to braid her long chestnut-coloured hair as Katharyne's thoughts roamed back to Cailan. She cared for the man, but she didn't love him. Her heart belonged to a man she would never see again… Of that, she was certain.

Once she was readied, she made her way down to Castle Cousland's entrance courtyard, followed by the servants and her travel case. She was met by the other inhabitants of the castle once she arrived in the courtyard. As the last of her luggage was loaded onto the covered carriage, she said her goodbyes to her friends and then her family. She hugged her Antivan-born sister-in-law, Oriana, tightly and promised to write often, before turning to her older brother, the heir of Highever, Fergus.

"I'll miss you, little sister! The dining hall will truly be a bore once you are in Denerim! Who else will I fling food to?" He laughed as he hugged her.

"Just fling it to Nathaniel when he visits! Do it in memory of me!" She laughed softly as she let go and turned to her nephew, Oren.

"Will you be coming back at all, Auntie?" He asked in a whisper.

"Unfortunately not, Oren" She responded as she crouched down to face him, the hem of her dress brushing the dirt.

"So you won't be coming back? Not at all?" He asked, big tears suddenly rolling down his cheeks as he jumped into her arms, holding on tightly with his small arms. She held onto the child as he sobbed in her arms. She rocked him lightly while shushing him.

"Oren, I promise that when you're older, you can come visit me in Denerim. Is that alright? We will spend some time together and eat some sweets. Would you like that?"

"No, Auntie! I will become a knight before I come to Denerim, so you can be proud of me! And knights don't eat sweets!" He said, determined.

"By then, you'll be ruling Highever! You'll be a strong and courageous man, won't you?" She said, encouragingly.

"Yes, Auntie!" He nodded as his sobs subsided and he was simply hiccupping lightly. She kissed his forehead lightly before letting him go. He ran to his mother's skirts and Katharyne couldn't help but feel sad about leaving the young boy behind. She got up and turned to her parents, Bryce and Eleanor Cousland. Her mother's cheeks were damp with tears. She pulled Katharyne in a tight hug. "I'll miss you, my darling girl" She whispered in her ear. The woman let her go after what seemed like an eternity.

"I love you, Katharyne." She said, brushing a hand on her cheek gently.

"And I, mother…" She responded before turning to her father.

He was standing next to her mother, a sombre look on his weathered face. Katharyne thought she even saw a hint of grief and regret in his eyes. He pulled her in a tight hug, making her feel like she was a girl of three again.

"I'm sorry you can't marry someone of your own choosing, pup…" She heard him whisper lowly in her ear. He pulled away and pecked her forehead lightly before he let her go completely. She sighed and turned on her heel, walking towards the carriage, trying hard not to look back.

Everyone else from the household, from servants to knights and guards, bowed to pay their respects as she walked. She noticed Nan, her former wet-nurse turned cook, was crying silently in a handkerchief. She waved one last time before climbing in the covered carriage, followed by her personal elven servant and traveling companion, Adahari, who was heading on the journey with her.

As they departed, Katharyne locked her eyes on her family who was waving. She kept her eyes on them until they crossed above the moat and took a turn down the winding road heading towards the city. She was leaving her childhood home, to never come back. Therefore, she wanted to ingrain its image in her mind. As she watched Castle Cousland get smaller, she remembered Fergus, their friend Nathaniel Howe and her running on the ramparts, climbing towers and playing in the knights' courtyard, to the dismay of her mother. It was not until her thirteenth year that Katharyne's interests had shifted to the 'softer', womanlier arts of needlework, music, singing and art.

She fought back the tears that threatened to fall when they were finally crossing the city, the castle becoming smaller and smaller. She avoided looking at the townspeople who were cheering for her.

"All hail Katharyne! Daughter of Highever and the future queen of Ferelden!" She heard the mayor's booming voice exclaim before the townspeople's cheers followed it. She waved lightly as they crossed the city, keeping her now teary eyes in the shadows of the covered carriage. They cheered until the carriage was out of the city, a few stragglers following them to the outskirts of the Teyrnir.

After they were now finally out of the Teyrnir, she finally settled in her cushioned seat, wiping her eyes and determined to calm down. Adahari handed her a blanket and she proceeded to cover her knees. She sighed, trying to keep her emotions under control. She was to be married in a few days, there was no way she could wallow in self-pity. As she looked at the Waking Sea to her left, her thoughts drifted to the past and to her first meeting with the prince Cailan.

* * *

  It had been the summer of her seventh year and she had travelled to Denerim with her father to meet King Maric and the twelve year old Prince Cailan. After she had introduced herself to the King, she remembered the King had pushed the prince forward so that he would meet her. The boy had grumbled as he did so.

"Good day, Lady Katharyne. I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance. " He had said, in an almost rehearsed voice while avoiding looking at her, shuffling his feet on the stone floor.

"I am very pleased to meet you, Your Highness." Katharyne had responded while curtseying, as a proper lady was supposed to.

She had noticed the prince had made to run back to his father but he had received a very stern look. The older prince had taken her hand, an annoyed and disgusted look on his face before he had leaned in and kissed the top of her hand carelessly. He had pulled away almost immediately after his lips had brushed the skin of her hand, whispering a light 'yuck' and wiping his mouth with a sleeve. Katharyne had wiped her hand on her skirt discreetly, only thinking he looked like a conceited child.

"How happy I am you could come." He had added with an annoyed sneer.

"I am happy to be here" Katharyne had replied curtly.

They had been lead into a separate room filled with books and toys so that they could be acquainted. She had learned much later that the room was Cailan's own play room. The prince had barely paid her any attention as he turned to his books and ignored her presence. Katharyne had not been certain as to what to do, so she kept herself busy on a different side of the room. For two subsequent summers, the prince had ignored her presence. By the third summer, however, Katharyne had decided to leave Cailan alone after a few days in Denerim, as she was tired of being ignored and barely acknowledged even at meal times. Instead, she had decided to give him the space he clearly wanted. She had always loved to explore the castle to find something to do, and had decided to do just that by slipping out of Cailan's study silently.

As she had walked, the sound of steel on steel and loud shouts had attracted her outside. She had arrived to the exercise courtyard where knights were sparring and training. She had then walked around the courtyard slowly, staying near the cooler stone walls when she had noticed a boy sitting on the dusty ground, polishing armour and shields directly in the hot sunlight. She had cocked her head to the side as she watched him work, realizing it was the first time she'd ever seen the boy. _'He is probably new'_ she had thought to herself, observing him from afar for a few moments.

"Hello!" She had then said sweetly, having decided to approach him. He had yelped in surprise, dropping his polishing rag as he heard her voice.

"Oh… what a shame..." She had said as she bent down to pick it up and hand it to him, feeling some of the oily polish on her hand. "Here…"

He had looked at her strangely, his golden eyes shimmering under the sunlight, before he had extended his hand and took the greasy rag, his small but rugged fingers brushing her soft ones. In surprise, she had pulled away at his touch.

"T-Thanks…" He had said in a whisper before quickly turning his attention back to the breastplate he was polishing.

Katharyne had wiped her hand on her dress, trying to remove the leftover polish from her hand, simply leaving a large streak of dark gunk on the light pink satin. "What are you doing?" She had asked as she sat down on the sandy ground next to him.

"Polishing armour" He had answered matter-of-factly.

"Why?" She had then asked, curious.

"Because." He replied, focused on the breastplate.

"That's a cheap answer…" She replied, pouting slightly "I'll ask again... Why?"

"Because it's what I do…" He had relented as he put the finished breastplate down.

"Why?" She had asked again

"It's part of my training."

"Your training? Are you a squire, perhaps?"

"Yes" He had replied, now polishing a shield.

"So, you'll be a knight?!"

"Yes"

"How did you become a squire? Did your parents send you here?"

"I'm an orphan…"

"Oh! I'm… I'm sorry…" She had apologized, feeling awful for asking.

"It's fine… It happened a long time ago." He had answered, waving it off.

"How did you end up here, in Denerim?"

"I was Arl Eamon's ward and King Maric brought me here this past winter…" He had responded, smiling lightly.

"Arl Eamon?! I know Arl Eamon! However, I don't think I ever saw you in Redcliffe Castle before!" She had replied, scrunching her nose as she tried to remember.

"I was never around when Arl Eamon had guests…" He had answered meekly, watching her.

"Oh, why?" She had asked, harassing him with another question.

"Just because…" He answered as he averted his gaze away once more.

Katharyne sat as she watched him work, silent. He kept glancing at her but would not utter a word.

"…How old are you, anyhow?" She had inquired after a few moments of silence, trying to change the subject.

"Ten"

"Ten? Really?! I am ten as well!" Katharyne had exclaimed happily. "Do you have a name?"

"Yes, but it's a plain name..." He replied

"I'm positive it's not plain! What is it? What's your name?" She had retorted, grinning widely

"It's... I'm Alistair..." He had replied in a small voice, polishing some gauntlets.

"I don't know what you find plain about it, I think you have a lovely name!" She had exclaimed as she clapped her hands together in excitement. "I'm –"

"KATHARYNE COUSLAND!" She had suddenly heard her father's booming voice bellowing from behind. "Young lady, what do you think you're doing?!"

She had sighed as the boy's eyes opened wide at her name, his hands now motionless on the piece of armour he was polishing. She had glanced at him one last time before she got to her feet submissively and shuffled towards her father who was standing near the north entrance to the courtyard. She could swear she had felt the boy's eyes boring into her back. That night, her father had scolded her harshly about her behaviour. However, Katharyne had barely paid any attention to his lecture, her thoughts had been roaming to the boy she had met earlier that day. She could only think of his golden hair and eyes, and how she had wanted to know him better. She had felt he was akin to a kindred spirit, someone who could be a good friend. However little he had said, he had paid some interest to her… that was more than what could be said about Cailan.

* * *

 

  Katharyne sat up as the carriage hit a few bumps in the road. She had drifted off and she could tell it was now dusk outside. She shared a small supper of cheese and meats with the servant before pulling the blanket up to her chin and falling asleep with thoughts of the boy with the golden hair and eyes.

The second day of the journey took longer than they expected, when dark clouds had rolled over and started hammering rain on the roof of the carriage. The precipitation made the road muddy and hard to maneuver. As the servant was out in the rain and helping the two drivers, Katharyne was left alone with her thoughts. She had asked if they needed help and had started to get out of the carriage but she had been pushed back inside gently by Adahari who claimed they didn't need her help.

Her thoughts roamed back to her past and the summers spent in Denerim. She had been forced to make the trip between Highever and Denerim with her father every summer since her parents and King Maric were hoping to change their children's opinions of each other in order to avoid a forced marriage. Thus, making them spend their whole summers together. However, as they got older, Cailan's interest in Katharyne had never really amplified. Instead, he spent time reading and training with every weapon possible.

By the age of thirteen, Katharyne had turned to the softer arts and reading in the castle's library to keep herself occupied. When she wasn't in her quarters or in the library, she spent most of her time in the large castle gardens or wandering about the castle, questioning if her marriage would be as lonesome as their courtship… if that's what it could be called.

She had been forbidden, as future queen, to fraternize with the squires and knights, she guessed due to her first meeting with Alistair. Katharyne had never really been one to follow rules, especially if they were ridiculous; however, she tried her best, mainly to make her father happy. Nevertheless, the fates seemed to have a different plan. At first, their meetings were impromptu and mere accidents. A few fleeting glances across a hall, a few passings in the castle's hallways as she wandered about, and even a few unexpected meetings in the large library.

The servant came back as they were finally on the cobbled road again. After a light midday meal, Katharyne tried to read one of the books she had brought with her, but her thoughts drifted to her past once more. She remembered something that happened during her seventeenth year, three years past.

* * *

  It had been only a few days after her arrival in Denerim, and Cailan and she were playing cards. Katharyne, who was lucky at cards, was winning much more than the prince and that seemed to exasperate him. She had her hair up in a simple fashion, to expose her neck and wore a dress of Cailan's favourite colour. The low décolleté exposed her newly found cleavage in just the right way and the cut was fitted at her slim hips to accentuate them. She tried her best to make him notice how much she had grown and changed, but the twenty-two year old prince hadn't uttered a word regarding her appearance and barely looked at her either. After their 8th round made her win once more, he had had enough and stormed out of the library, not even shooting her a glance. Katharyne, for a long time, had feared that her betrothed was not interested in women, since he avoided her like a curse, however, she had seen him flirt with other ladies at court and she had been told he had brought a woman to his bed during his twentieth year.

"Cailan really doesn't know what he's missing…" She heard a voice utter behind her. She turned around and saw Alistair leaning on a nearby bookcase, an open book in his left hand.

"Ser Alistair…" Katharyne said as she got up and did a slight curtsey as a greeting, a teasing grin on her face.

"Oh, please my dear lady! I will not be a knight until next year! Just call me Alistair!" He teased as he put the book on the nearby table.

"It does not mean I cannot practice." She responded, grinning from ear to ear as he approached her.

"I must say, however, you look lovely today, truly." He said, eyeing her up and down with a fleeting glance. "I really don't know why His Highness won't look at you, he really doesn't know what he's missing…"

"Why thank you, ser!" She replied, laughing as she twirled in her dress, the compliment making her feel light-hearted and cheerful. Alistair's presence always made Katharyne jubilant, which consecutively, made her enjoy his company very much. She observed her seventeen-year-old friend facing her. He no longer was the lanky boy she came to know. His eyes were now an amber colour and his hair was darker as well. She noticed some stubble growing on his chin. He had clearly become a man. She could see his arm muscles flexing lightly as he moved about. She wondered what his arms would feel like around her, what he would smell like, what he, as a whole, would feel like. Her mind had begun to get thoughts like that since she had become sixteen and she had seen him in the courtyard, training with no shirt on, the sun shining lightly on his perspiring body.

She shook the thoughts away as she twirled a few times with his encouragement, giggling loudly. As she twirled one last time, she suddenly felt a bit light-headed and stumbled over her feet. As she fell, she shut her eyes, waiting for an impact that never came. She felt some strong arms wrap around her and pull her up. She opened her eyes slowly, and saw a pair of golden eyes inches away, searching hers deeply. Alistair was holding her in his arms… and his lips were inches away from hers, she realised as she felt her heart beating like a drum in her chest.

"A-Alistair… I… Thank you…" She managed to whisper, her eyes locked with his, his body pressed against hers.

She took the time to observe him, her lips still slightly parted in surprise. He kept staring at her intently, seemingly not wanting to let go. She felt like she was in a trance, seeing his face grow closer as he was leaning in and their lips were suddenly pressed ever so lightly. The feather-light touch was enough to break the daze they were in, as Katharyne felt a small jolt run through her body. Alistair let her go quickly, stumbling over his words as he hastily left the library. Katharyne sat back at the table, reaching for her lips and brushing a finger of her bottom lip.

"He kissed me… He actually kissed me…" She kept whispering to herself, feeling elated and yet, also feeling pained.

She spent the rest of the summer trying to find Alistair and talk to him, but to no avail. The man was clearly avoiding her. Thus, by the end of the summer, Katharyne left for Highever her heart heavy with emotion.

* * *

  As dusk approached, she had supper with her servant before trying to drift off to sleep. After twisting and turning, she awoke to find Adahari asleep in her seat. Katharyne leaned on the closest carriage window and stared at the half-moon. Her thoughts trailed to the year beforehand, her nineteenth.

After she had spent her entire eighteenth year at the University of Orlais, she had finally come back to the palace in Denerim. When she had arrived, Cailan had not been acting like himself… Or the way she had grown up knowing him at least. It seemed like a whole year without seeing her had changed him. He greeted her himself, helped her out of the carriage and proposed they spend time together as soon as she was rested. He would speak her praises to anyone who would listen every time they were accompanied around the castle, and he had been constantly complimenting her. He kept saying how he had never realised she was so beautiful, how she was so lovely and how much he loved her.

Katharyne was not sure what to think. Had Cailan become mad? They had exchanged many letters throughout her year away and they had been nothing more than personal correspondence… Not love letters in the least. People had started whispering that the prince was finally in love with the lady Katharyne. To make things even worse, Alistair was nowhere to be found. She had tried to contact him every few months throughout her year in Orlais, but none of her letters had been replied to.

After only a day at the palace, she asked a few servants and was told that he had been sent to Redcliffe while she had been in Orlais. That night, Katharyne cried herself to sleep, as she had realised what she feared had come true. She had fallen in love with Alistair… And she would never see him again.

No matter what Cailan could give her, she would never forget her first love… the man who stole her heart. Alistair.


	2. I - The Arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter way ahead of schedule! So, this chapter, at some point, will switch between two Point of Views… I never really write in more than one in one chapter so this is way different for me and I'll try to keep it that way. I think it's better to get out of your comfort zone for stuff like this.
> 
> I'm sure you will realise it, but I have taken some liberties with describing surroundings, as we barely see some of the locations I'm using in the original games. Some things are obviously different as well, like the clothes and hair descriptions
> 
> Thank you for reading! I appreciate any feedback you can offer.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: The characters and locations don't belong to me; they belong to Bioware and EA and I'm simply using them to fuel this thing called my muse.

  She arrived in Denerim, trying her best to stay incognito, but a citizen noticed the Highever heraldic emblem on her carriage, the two green spears crossed in front of the pale green raindrop radiant in the sun. He approached them and peeked inside before he started cheering.

"It's the future queen! Our queen is here!" He exclaimed, attracting the attention of other citizens.

They all started cheering for her and Katharyne, unsure as to what to do, started to wave at them lightly. Her gestures resulted in much louder cheers from the crowd and she immediately regretted it. The carriage went up the main hill, through the poorer districts and then in the richer palace district before making its way all the way up and across the moat. Two guards stopped the crowd right before it too crossed the moat, and the heavy iron gate closed behind the carriage, subsiding the clamour of the crowd. The horses stopped in the large courtyard and Katharyne noticed servants and guards were gathered in a line to greet her. A footman approached the carriage hastily and opened the door.

Katharyne patted her flyaway hairs down before she stood up and climbed out of the small carriage. The footman extended his hand and helped her down the two rickety steps, Adahari not far behind. When she was finally on solid ground, she brushed away the small creases in her dress with delicate fingers.

"Good day, my lady! And welcome back to Denerim!" A knight clad in silver heavy armour said as he approached her, bowing down once he was facing her. "I am sergeant Kylon, the acting captain of the guard and, until my colleague Ser Martyn returns, head of the Royal Household"

Katharyne curtseyed politely in response. "Good day, sir. What do you mean you are the 'acting' captain? Where is Ser Martyn? And what about my future husband, Cailan? In our last correspondence, he promised he would greet me upon my arrival."

"I must apologize on behalf of His Majesty, my lady. A fleet of some of the most dreadful pirates from Rivain were sighted off the coast not two days past. As our king and leader of the navy, His Majesty decided to leave the city promptly to fend off the pirates and possibly eradicate them once and for all. He has asked me to apologize for him as he is deeply saddened about missing his queen's arrival." Sergeant Kylon responded solemnly.

Katharyne sighed, she was not surprised in the least by the reason her betrothed was not there to greet her. It was so typical of Cailan to go look for glory at sea or on a battlefield instead of delegating such duties to admirals or generals.

"I understand. Do you have an idea as to when His Majesty will return? I am eager to get the wedding underway..." Katharyne asked, feeling as if her stomach was twisted into knots.

"Unfortunately, I am not aware as to when His Majesty will return, since a voyage at sea is oftentimes unpredictable..." Kylon replied. "Therefore, His Majesty has requested that you are to say your vows to the Maker separately so that the public ceremony and consummation of the marriage may occur when he returns. His Majesty has already done so before leaving at sea."

Katharyne was taken aback by the situation. They were to say their vows separately? She had heard it was frequent practice with the Ferelden common folk, but the last occurrence in a noble household had been centuries ago. If they were to say their vows separately, she would become the queen of Ferelden, albeit without the king there to support her. That could not be the reason, right? It could not be, she wasn't ready to be thrown in this role alone.

"Why would His Majesty request this? This is a highly unlikely situation in a noble household... I could wait for his return... " She asked Kylon as they started walking, making their way up the steps leading to the castle's large doors.

"Before his departure, His Majesty explained to me that since he was unsure when he would return, he wants to ensure that you rule in his place until his return. He explained he did not want to leave the throne empty for long." Kylon responded, leading her inside after guards opened the large doors.

"However, he made the decision of the separate vows since he feared our advisors and common populace would not respect any decisions you would make in his place. Until you are married in the eyes of the Maker, you are not our true queen."

Katharyne sighed, her fears coming true. "I understand. Where will this vows ceremony take place? And when exactly? I am eager to get this done... and out of my mind." She asked as they walked through the castle's entrance hall.

"As soon as you are ready, my lady, we will be making our way to the castle's chantry. If you would like to change, I can arrange for you to be guided to your new quarters." Kylon answered promptly with a small bow.

"I… I don't need to change. Let us go at once… " She replied, sighing to herself. Kylon acquiesced and led her down to the left and through the long corridor to the castle's private chantry. As she walked in the large room with domed ceilings, she drew in a small breath. The midday sun was filtering through the stained-glass windows, creating a rose and gold glow in the small hall. She approached the grand cleric Elemena, with Kylon and Adahari as her witnesses. Staring at the large marble statue of Andraste behind the main altar and her hand resting on a beautifully illuminated copy of the Chant of Light, she uttered her vows.

The cleric slipped a small silver band on her left hand as soon as she finished, the cleric proclaiming her Queen of Ferelden. The simple ring was a temporary one until the King returned, Kylon explained as he guided her out of the chantry and down some corridors to her new quarters. He showed her to a small ornately decorated antechamber whose large dark wood doors led to a large richly decorated bedroom. The bedroom's wall facing the door had large ceiling-high windows that looked over the bay leading out to the Amaranthine Ocean. The glass double doors leading to the balcony were open, letting a light breeze in and making the sheer white curtains curl and flutter lazily. Her eyes trailed to the gilded chandelier hanging in the middle of the high stone vaulted ceiling, before looking at the large lightly coloured tapestries hanging on the stone walls.

"Now, your Majesty…" Kylon started, startling Katharyne out of her reverie by using her new title. "If there is anything you need, please address any maids or servants. We have arranged for your personal servant, Adahari, to stay in Denerim until a fortnight. As well, please be aware that your personal bodyguard will come and introduce himself later today once he returns from his last patrol of the castle's walls. He has been charged with your safety by His Majesty himself."

"Thank you, Ser Kylon" Katharyne replied as he bowed. He looked back at her anxiously, glancing between her and the doors leading back to the castle's corridor. "Ser Kylon? Is there anything else?" She asked.

"As per our ways, I may not take my leave until you say so, ma'am" He replied calmly.

Katharyne wanted to slap herself for forgetting.

"Oh! Yes, of course! Ser Kylon, you may take your leave. Thank you for everything" She replied before he bowed politely and headed out of the door.

Katharyne turned her attention back to her quarters. She looked at the large canopy bed pushed to the wall to the right of the door. It was a dark brown wood, its headboard beautifully carved with traditional Fereldan fauna and flora. She trailed her hand on the closest tall bedposts, running her fingers on the carved coiled vines. Her hands then trailed to the bed's white brocade curtains and the soft wool bedding, her hands tracing the rose brocade of the top cover. She sat down on the feather mattress and jumped slightly a few times, welcoming the softness of the mattress. She sighed, thinking about the dreaded nights that were to come, shivering as she thought of Cailan and her duty as his wife and queen. The man was handsome, yes...

"But it's not him..." She whispered, resting her head on the closest of the bedposts before she hopped off of the bed and walked to the marble vanity on the other side of the room, her footsteps muffled by the plush carpet laid on the stone floor. Pulling the brocaded chair out, she sat down in front of the mirror, reaching her hands up to undo her hair. She unpinned the hair before slowly undoing her braids, letting her hair fall down her back in soft curls. She was running her fingers through her hair gently when she suddenly heard a knock at the door.

Taking a breath in, she used her most commanding voice. "Come in."

Standing in the antechamber, he fidgeted nervously, facing the large oaken doors he knew she was behind. It took him all his courage to knock, having almost half a mind to spin on his heels and walk away before he heard her voice faintly through the thick doors.

He took a large breath and opened the doors slowly entering the room, his armour making small noises as he walked. He brushed a hand in his hair nervously as he walked through. He turned to close the door before spinning around once it was closed firmly. He could only see her reflection in the mirror and he drew a breath in. She could still take his breath away after all those years apart. He approached gradually, watching her, as she had evidently not noticed him yet. Her brown hair was cascading down her back in curly tresses blowing gently in the wind. He stopped behind her.

"Hello, Katharyne..."

No, it was impossible. It couldn't be. Katharyne froze as she heard the familiar voice. The voice she thought she would never hear again. She looked in the mirror and saw his reflection staring at her. This had to be a dream, she was certain. She turned around slowly and saw him standing there, shuffling his feet lightly.

"Alistair...?" She whispered weakly, as she felt her bottom lip quivering.

He was looking at her intently, remembering the girl he had kissed so briefly in his seventeenth year. The woman he had loved for so long... the woman who was now the Queen he was supposed to protect and his half-brother's wife. Her mint green eyes were transfixed on him, her lashes quivering, and her gaze seemingly boring into his soul. His eyes trailed to her quivering lips, the ones he remembered so fondly.

"I-Is it really you...?" She whispered once more before he nodded lightly.

Alistair had barely any time to react before he felt her small frame buried in his chest, her arms wrapped around his midriff. His arms instinctively wrapped around her and he could feel her shoulders shaking. She was sobbing in his arms but he couldn't tell exactly why she was crying. Unsure as to what to do and disregarding a proper knights' etiquette, he kept hugging her, running his hand up and down her back to soothe her.

After a little while, Katharyne finally calmed down enough to stop sobbing. She looked up to Alistair who wiped some of the tears from her cheeks with the pad of his rugged thumbs. She let out a soft giggle, which made his heart melt.

"I must apologize. This is truly no way for a queen to act..." She said, smiling.

"A... A Queen! Right! That's what you are now!" He said before pulling away from her, trying to keep his distance.

"Alistair?" She whispered meekly.

"I apologise, your Majesty. My actions were not... appropriate in the least." He bowed down, the title escaping his lips making Katharyne's stomach twist into knots.

"Please... Alistair. I'm still Katharyne, your... friend." She paused at the word usage. Were they more than friends? "We have known each other for ten years... I am already hearing that title from everyone else, so please, please just use my name when we're alone... Please... " She whispered, looking down at her feet.

"Is this an order, ma'am?" He asked her, his sharp voice sending a shiver down her spine.

"N-No... Please... It's a request as your long time... friend." She paused at the word once more, twisting her hands together. She looked up as he didn't respond right away, a slightly hurt expression in her eyes.

"Alright, I'll do so, as your... friend." He replied, hesitating as well.

"I thought I wouldn't see you again... Not after you... Not after you left." She said as she led him to the seating area near the windows. She patted one of the armchairs to remove any dust before she sat down on it, brushing her fingers over her skirt to smooth it out before motioning for him to sit down as well. Alistair sat down on the armchair facing hers, his back to the bed.

"Yes, well... Neither did I. I was..." He hesitated. "sent back to Redcliffe on Arl Eamon's request."

"But what are you doing back in Denerim? And at the castle? Arl Eamon has his own estate, so I would think you would be there as well! Why aren't you at his side? Were you called back at the castle? Why? I never even saw you at court when Arl Eamon was in Highever and Denerim, why is that?" Katharyne asked him all at once.

"Oh, how I've missed your incessant questions..." He chuckled lightly. "Under... Lady Isolde's decision, I was sent back to Denerim this past winter." He answered.

"I see... Say, Alistair... May I ask you something that has been worrying me for a while?" She hesitated after he nodded "Why didn't you answer any of my letters? I sent you one every two months during our seventeenth and eighteenth years and... And after I found out you had gone to Redcliffe, I still sent you one there every six months... Yet, I never received a reply from you. I thought something terrible had fallen upon you, so I stopped sending you letters altogether this year past." She asked, keeping her gaze on him.

Alistair sighed, knowing this question would arise eventually. However, he did not expect it to be so soon after her arrival. He held her gaze, thinking back to the last few years. He had received all her letters, albeit unsure about what to write back in that first year as he had tried to get her out of his mind… to no avail. He had cherished all of her letters, but he would never admit to her he still kept all of them under his bunk, tracing her fine script lightly with his fingers and reading the letters over and over again.

"I apologise for not replying... However, I must admit I am surprised. I did send a reply to your last few letters... Did you not receive them?" He asked, furrowing his brow.

"No, no I did not... " She sighed, "I suppose my father might have intercepted them... I think it would explain many things…"

Alistair felt a tug at his heart, watching the woman's emotions shift from conflicted to sorrow. She stared down at her hands, twisting her fingers nervously.

"How was your journey to Denerim?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, it was all right. We took the Waking Sea road this time, instead of the Imperial Highway, which was much quicker. We only had rain for one day" She answered, looking up at him and smiling lightly.

"That's good." He smiled as well.

"Say, Alistair? Do you know who my personal bodyguard will be? I was told by Ser Kylon he was chosen by King Cailan himself. Is it Ser Jaime? Ser Ethan? No? Maybe Ser Rowland? No? Are you sure? Could it be Ser Arthur? He was always a good warrior and was always kind to me." She asked him, listing names as he shook his head 'no' to each one.

"In actuality, your personal bodyguard is me, as per the personal request of His Majesty King Cailan." He replied as she gasped, a hand on her mouth.

"Y-You?" She whispered. "Why you?" She asked meekly as he shrugged.

"I am not aware of the specific reason. As soon as the day of your arrival was decided, he sent for me. I was already part of his own personal guard and he requested this of me." He lied.

 _'_ _A Theirin must always protect his wife... My lady Katharyne and yourself were close once, were you not?' 'I saw you kiss her, three years past... I will not mention it anymore, but you did, did you not? I could have you thrown in jail... Instead, as her 'friend', a knight of this realm and as my... half-brother, I want you to protect her in my place. She will trust you more than any other knight, so you make her life here as comfortable as it can be...'_ Alistair remembered Cailan saying to him coolly on the day of the request.

"But why? What did he say, exactly? Does he know how much we… we were close? Does he?" Katharyne asked him, he noticed a worried look appear upon her face.

"He… He just knows that we were friends." He lied once more, not wanting to cause her grief.

"So, he picked you only because we are friends...?" She eyed him suspiciously.

"Yes, he said that I was to make your life as comfortable as it can be. Since I'm a familiar face, I suppose..." Alistair finished explaining, watching her.

"I see..." She responded, nodding her head lightly as she played with her long hair. He watched her delicate fingers run through her brown locks, braiding, twisting and untwisting them, as she seemed deep in thought.

Alistair observed her in silence, his thoughts roaming as he wondered what her hair would feel like between his fingers, her fingers locked with his as her lips would meet his. He blinked a few times as he realised what he was thinking. She was the queen of Ferelden now; it was not appropriate to contemplate such thoughts.

"Listen, Katharyne... I'm speaking to you as a  _friend_  here. I know you may not love him, but His Majesty cares for you greatly." He said, a grave tone in his voice.

"I know..." She whispered, avoiding his gaze.

"And one day... You'll learn to care... and..." Alistair sighed, feeling tense in his heart as he spoke, "And maybe love him as well." He finished, fisting his right hand at the thought, his knuckles turning white.

"That will never happen..." He heard her whisper before she turned her attention back to the bay outside her windows.


	3. II - The Alienage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm already at a third chapter... I haven't written in years, but this story has been taking shape! And the chapters always end up being so long! Wow! Sorry about that.
> 
> I am going to try and update daily until the story has caught up to where I left it off on Fanfiction.net
> 
> LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The characters and locations don't belong to me; they belong to Bioware and EA and I'm simply using them to fuel this thing called my muse.

"Please, Alistair! You must let me go see it!" Katharyne said loudly, sitting at the large wooden table in the castle's dining hall

Two weeks had passed since her arrival in Denerim. Cailan was still out at sea and Katharyne was settling in her role as queen slowly. After meeting with the royal advisor, Urien Kendells the Arl of Denerim, Katharyne had shifted her attention to helping the people of Ferelden... Starting with Denerim. Upon her arrival in the city, she had noticed how dire the market district had looked and she had only heard rumours about the Elven Alienage's state. Even after a few heavily guarded visits to the Market district, Alistair and the other guards had forbid her to enter the Alienage.

"No, Your Majesty! I've told you before, for the millionth time, it's too dangerous! You never know what could happen while you are there!"

Katharyne sighed, the fact he used her royal title instead of her name stinging. She turned back to her morning meal, poking at the bacon and eggs with her utensils, not feeling too hungry anymore.

"And I've told you before to sit down with me at the table where there is no one else around." She retorted, looking up at him coolly, motioning to the chair next to her where some food laid waiting.

"And I've already told you that I don't feel comfortable about that. You are my..." He paused. "... You are the queen and I'm but a knight. It would not be appropriate." He answered, shifting on his feet.

"... It's an order, Alistair." She said sternly, holding his gaze as she watched him sitting down, pouting slightly.

Katharyne turned back to her meal, hating herself for giving him an order. She sighed as she kept eating, glancing at him. As she watched him eat, she felt warmth spreading in her body. The situation felt strangely domestic, as if they were a normal married couple. She shook that thought from her mind as she always did. She was married to Cailan... wherever he may be. As a married woman, she ought not to think such thoughts.

 _'_ _But you've loved Alistair for so long...You know you would rather be married to him…'_ A small voice always whispered in the back of her head.  _'You love him... You know you always will...'_

"Listen, Katharyne..." He started, snapping her out of her musings. "I mean, Your Majesty... I mean, Katharyne... Ugh…" He sighed, seemingly unsure how to address her, as always.

"Katharyne, I will agree to your going to the Alienage, but only if you wear a blade to your hip and you are accompanied by me. It is my duty to protect you as your bodyguard... and friend. Those are my terms."

Alistair sighed as he saw her face light up. She jumped out of her chair and sauntered over to him happily, hugging him tightly from behind. Alistair coughed lightly on his food, sputtering as he felt her bosom press against the back of his neck and her hair brushing his cheek, engulfing him in her scent.

"Alistair! Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She said as she kept holding on to him tightly.

"You're... You're very welcome." He replied before she let him go to sit back down and finish her meal.

She finished eating in silence, Alistair noticed, with a large grin plastered on her face. Once her plate was empty, she practically jumped out of her seat and ran out of the large dining hall. Alistair smiled to himself as he saw her leave, to get ready. She truly had not changed.  _'Always so full of energy, that woman'_  He thought to himself as he got up from the table and made his way to the knights' quarters. He changed into his lighter armour before wrapping a maroon woollen cape around his shoulders and strapping his sword to his belt.

He made his way out of the knights' quarters and to the entrance courtyard. He leaned on one of the stone pillars at the bottom of the stairs. He heard the large doors open with a screeching noise. He turned his head around and saw her walking down the large stairs. She was wearing a simple eggshell white dress, a brown leather belt with a dagger holster hanging loosely around her hips and the russet brown woollen travel cape around her shoulders was flapping in the wind. Her chestnut brown hair, tied in a simple plait, was bouncing behind her as she came down the stairs eagerly. He pulled away from the pillar, holding his breath as he observed her. Even dressed in simple clothes that resembled those of a simple citizen, she could take his breath away. But she was the queen now, unattainable... Unavailable.

"Well then, shall we depart?" She asked as she reached the last step, pulling the hood of her cape over her head before fixing her belt and dagger holster.

He nodded and they started making their way out of the courtyard and through the gates. They crossed the wooden bridge over the moat into the cobblestoned palace district.

"You know, I think we should have taken horses to get there faster." Alistair said as they walked past the richer citizens' houses, through the crowds out for their morning shopping.

"No, they're too noticeable. This is much better." She answered, her voice telling him she was sure of herself.

"You really think so? How so?"

"Yes, I really think so! No matter how we are dressed, the horses would have attracted too much attention. Right now, we're incognito… concealed in the crowds. See?" She said as she waved her arms slightly.

"You're right!" He chuckled, as he noticed not one of the citizens in the streets paid them any mind. He noticed none of the citizens travelled about the city by anything other than by foot. Therefore, if they had horses, they would definitely stand out. Katharyne was correct. They looked exactly like any other citizen out for their morning routine.

"You're quite clever, you know?" He added after a few moments before she giggled lightly.

"Did you think I was all looks, Ser?" She asked as she motioned to her face and her curvaceous body. He tried not to look at her bosom and hips as she moved.

"N-No, ma'am..." He replied, laughing lightly. "I know you better than that!"

They kept walking in silence, Katharyne having moved a little bit ahead of him, Alistair's hand reached for the handle of his sword automatically as he kept a careful eye on her. He caught up with her as they arrived at the open gate leading to the poorer districts. He glanced over as they started walking once more, Katharyne twisting and turning to look around. He noticed her brows were furrowed seriously and he chuckled to himself. Alistair knew that face. It was the face she would make when thinking. He knew then, that she was making mental notes of her surroundings.

"Repairs and improvements still need to be made in so many places… This is unbelievable! Even after I told the council about it…" He heard her whisper.

As they walked, Alistair noticed for the first time how very few guards were patrolling the market district. It had never been his patrol area and while Katharyne had visited the district a few times, they always had more protection than normal. Knowing it was a dangerous area, he also made a mental note to mention to Sergeant Kylon about increasing the guards' presence.

They finally arrived at the large gates leading to the Alienage, after taking the long way around through the market district and avoiding any potential cutpurse.

"Halt! Who goes there?" The guard in front of the large gates stopped them. Alistair smiled, recognizing his good friend Ser Jamie's voice behind the helmet.

"Ser Jamie! It is I, Alistair." He said as he removed his own hood. "I'm here, escorting Her Majesty to the Alienage. I had discussed it with you previously, do you remember?"

"Oh! Yes, of course! You have changed your mind, it seems!" He exclaimed, opening his helmet's visor as he turned towards Katharyne. "Please accept my apologies, Your Majesty." He bowed slightly

"It is no trouble, Ser Jaime. I understand you are simply doing your duty as the Alienage's guard. Could you open the gates for us? I am eager to meet with the elves" She responded calmly, a smile upon her face.

"Yes, ma'am! Right away!" He exclaimed as he shuffled over to the mechanism.

He pulled down a lever and the gate started rising with a loud screeching noise. Both of them cringed as the creaky and rusted gate opened slowly. Once it reached the top, Ser Jaime pushed the lever in and motioned for them that it was safe to go through. They made their way under the large gates and down the steps leading to the Alienage. They then crossed a stone bridge that covered a relatively stagnant body of water.

As they walked further in, Alistair noticed many of the elves were looking at them intently, a mistrustful look in their eyes. They seemed very haggard and he didn't sense any danger, but Alistair kept a hand on the hilt of his sword.

"This is… worse than I ever expected…" He heard Katharyne whisper in a small voice.

He was suddenly very aware of what his surroundings looked like. Most of the houses, if that's what they could be called, were barely standing. They were pieces of wood strewn together to create some living space. Dwellings were stacked and pilled on top of each other, going up a few stories and connected by seemingly rotting pieces of wood. The elves were clearly living in an unimaginable squalor, all over each other. Such an area was clearly too small and not designed to contain the hundreds of thousands of elves living there.

"I didn't know it was this horrible… This is so unlike Highever's Alienage… Sarethia and Father would never have allowed something like this" Katharyne was saying to herself. "At least their Vhenadahl is in great shape" She added sadly as they approached the large decorated oak tree in the middle of the area. He saw the large roots were deep in the earth, its branches reaching up to the hazy sky.

"What's a Vhenadahl?" Alistair asked, curious to know.

"Vhenadahl is 'the tree of the people'. It's a symbol of Arlathan, the first elven homeland and the capital of the Elvehenan. Every Alienage is supposed to have one." Katharyne answered as she gently ran her delicate fingers on the large tree's trunk.

"You know much about elven culture,  _asha_." Alistair heard a voice say behind him as he was looking at Katharyne. They both turned to come face to face with a red-haired elf wearing tattered clothes. Her hazel eyes were looking at Katharyne suspiciously.

"Yes, I studied much of it while I was a student atー"

"It doesn't matter where you've learned about us! What are you doing here? What do you want,  _shem_?" The elven woman said disdainfully.

"How dare you speak such words to Her Majesty, the Queen?" Alistair hissed as he heard the slur, his trembling hands reaching for his sword.

"Hush, Alistair…" He felt Katharyne's hand on his shoulder and he relaxed.

"You're… You're truly the…?" The elf said, her eyes stricken with fear.

"Yes, my name is Katharyne, Queen of Ferelden…" Katharyne replied as she showed the elf a new piece of silver with her likeness on it. She had a gentle look in her eyes as she turned to the elf who bowed lowly. "Oh, no! Please don't bow! Can you tell me where I may find your Hahren, ehm… I'm sorry, I did not catch your name…"

"Shianni! I am Shianni, Your Majesty! Our hahren is currently at home. I can go fetch him if you would like…"

"Yes, that would be lovely, Shianni. Thank you." Katharyne replied as the elf ran off.

The young elf named Shianni returned within a few moments, followed by an intimidating old elf. His medium-length white hair was tucked behind his pointed ears except for two small braids that framed his weathered features. He approached solemnly and bowed to Katharyne as he stopped.

" _Andaran atish'an_ , your Majesty. I am Valendrian, the  _hahren_  of this Alienage. What can our meager Alienage do for you?"

"Good day, Valendrian. As the leader of this community, I wanted to formally introduce myself to you. I am Katharyne, wife to King Cailan and Queen of Ferelden." She responded with a small respective bow to the elder elf who seemed taken aback.

"I must admit that I am surprised, Your Majesty. You are the first queen of this city who would willingly walk in our Alienage to introduce herself. I was told you were knowledgeable in our culture?"

"Yes, ser." She responded with a small nod, smiling.

"Ser, she says! How proper!" He exclaimed, smiling widely. "Where did you learn about our culture? Pray tell!"

"I have always been fascinated by elven culture, ever since I first stepped into the Alienage in Highever. I also studied the culture much more in detail at the University of Orlais, two years past."

"I would be lying if I said I am not impressed! What can I do for you then? Aside from your formal introduction, I imagine you had another reason to come to our Alienage…?" He asked.

"If I am being completely honest, I came to assess the situation in your Alienage so that we can improve the elves' living." She admitted, shuffling her feet lightly, smiling as she motioned to the alienage. Alistair saw the elder's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, the young red-haired elf also looking at Katharyne in disbelief.

"This must be a farce! You jest, surely!" The older elf started saying, shaking his head.

"I assure you, I am being completely serious" Katharyne replied. "I intend on improving your living quarters and your lives in the city for the better.

The elves were both looking at her in disbelief, seemingly unsure as to what to think. The wind blew gently around them as they seemed to register what she was saying.

"Well well well… What have we here?" A male voice said loudly, resonating in the Alienage's centre.  
"A man and a woman, huh? You both look human, are you elf-blooded perhaps? You should not be here… the Alienage is closed to humans."

Alistair turned around and recognized the man at once as Vaughan Kendells, the heir to the arling of Denerim. He stood near the path leading to the back entrance of the Alienage, accompanied by his sycophantic friends, a sneer on his face.

"This does not concern you, citizen. Go back to the other districts, the Alienage is closed… as you said." Katharyne said sternly, noticing in the corner of his eye that she had also turned to face the new arrival.

Vaughan laughed loudly, a raspy laugh full of disdain. "Look at this woman, lads! Thinking she can order us around! What a feisty one!" He said, his friends also laughing loudly. "Now you listen to me, woman. I am the Arl's son, so I will do as I please. This Alienage and its inhabitants are my subjects and I can do what I please. Understood?"

"And I am asking you to leave, ser." Katharyne responded calmly, her eyes transfixed on Vaughan as she watched him approach. Alistair made to move in front of her, but he felt her hand resting on his as she threw him a glance so he would stand down.

 _'_ _She must have a plan! That has to be it... She wouldn't put herself in danger, right?'_ Alistair thought to him as she moved to stand in front of him and the two elves.

Alistair saw a lecherous look in Vaughan's and his friends' eyes as their stares trailed down from her décolleté to her hips. "What would you do to make me leave, lass? Maybe I'll take you instead of an elf!" He chortled as he stopped in front of her, still eyeing her up and down.

"If you leave peacefully, as I have asked, I will not tell the authorities you were here." She answered him firmly, holding his stare. Before Alistair even had time to react, Vaughan grabbed Katharyne's arm and slammed her on the closest wall, pinning one of her shoulders against the plaster covered stone. Alistair saw Katharyne tried to wriggle out of his grasp, her face still unfazed but Vaughan simply tightened his grip on her shoulder.

"Maybe I'll just take you here... in front of everyone." He said, licking his lips.

"I suggest you take your hand off of me" Katharyne said calmly, holding his gaze.

"Or what, sweetheart?" Vaughan asked, his voice thick with lust as he rested a hand on her breast.

Alistair, watching from the side, could feel his blood boiling as he saw the man's hand resting on her breast. He reached for his sword, but did not move as to not endanger her. In a flash of silver light, Alistair suddenly saw Katharyne's dagger hovering right above Vaughan's crotch.

"Or I'll remove those precious parts between your legs and throw them to the dogs." Katharyne said, glaring harshly at him.

"Who are you?" Vaughan asked, seething.

"I am the Queen of Ferelden. Now, you better let me go... Or my companion here will throw you in Fort Drakon."

"Y-Your Majesty?! I apologize... I did not know it was you!" Vaughan bowed down profusely, "I didn't think I would find you inー"

"Silence! You are Urien Kendells' son Vaughan, are you not? Or so you claimed... How dare you come in here and treat the elves the way I saw today? This is clearly not the first time you are here... And touching the Queen so inappropriately as well? I could have you thrown into Fort Drakon and remove your title. What would your father say, hm? I wonder..." Katharyne said, as she put her dagger away, glaring at him.

"Please... Please ma'am... It won't happen again...I..." Vaughan was whispering, clearly afraid of what could happen to him.

"I have decided that from now on, you are forbidden to enter this Alienage. If I hear that you have stepped but one foot inside, I will have you thrown into Fort Drakon and remove those parts myself. Women and elves are not your playthings! Is that understood?"

Vaughan nodded vigorously, staring at the ground in fear.

"I intend on renovating this Alienage. I now decree, in front of witnesses that you are to help with anything that might be needed during said repairs. That time will be the one and only chance for you to redeem yourself. If I hear it is unsatisfactory, I will tell your father about your excursions into the Alienage. Are we clear?"

"Yes, your Majesty!" Vaughan said, bowing once more.

"Now, get out of here!"

Vaughan was not told twice, running out of the Alienage, followed by his friends. Katharyne, her fearlessness only reinforcing his feelings for her, truly impressed Alistair. She was not only a pretty face; she was a smart and resourceful woman who was able to keep her cool under difficult situations.

After Vaughan had run off, a small crowd of elves had started gathering in a circle around them. He watched her turning back to the elder and walking back towards him.

"First thing I will implement is to increase security for the elves' safety." Katharyne said. "I will increase the amount of guard patrols in and out of the Alienage.

"Thank you, ma'am." Valendrian bowed lowly.

"Second, I would like to have a representative of your choosing from the Alienage at court. So that elves may have a voice of their own at the castle."

Both Valendrian and Alistair were taken aback by her request. The elder elf nodded greatly as he looked around the gathered crowd of elves.

"This is... an honour, thank you. I pick Shianni as our representative. She is well-known in our community and I know she will represent us properly and fairly."

Shianni, nodded before she bowed down to both her elder and Katharyne.

"Shianni, please gather any personal effects you wish to bring, as you will have your own quarters at the castle. We leave as soon as you are ready, so please take your time." Katharyne said gently as she faced the elf.

"Wait... Will I come back?" The girl asked worriedly.

"Oh, yes! You will have freedom of passage between any of the districts and the Alienage. My first thought for change is to keep the gates open. Elves will be free to wander around Denerim and no longer be confined to the Alienage. As it is in Highever, so shall it be here."

Shianni nodded, smiling widely as she crossed through the crowd to go gather her personal belongings. Katharyne then turned to the elder once more.

"I will also amend our laws, so that elves no longer have to beg or work in a human household. Elves will be free to take up any trade they desire, marry whoever they so wish."

The crowd cheered loudly and Valendrian bowed down low after she was finished.

"Ma serannas, Your Majesty. Many thanks!"

"Since I cannot always come to the Alienage, Shianni will act as a liaison on my behalf. So, please look forward to any news in the near future. Once my king husband returns, I will ensure the news laws are passed."

They left the Alienage as soon as Shianni was ready. Alistair was walking, a hand on the hilt of his sword, behind Katharyne as she spoke to Shianni as if they had been the best of friends since childhood. The elf was slowly warming up to Katharyne, he noticed, as she let Katharyne link their arms together as they walked and laughed.

He smiled to himself; having witnessed an entirely new side to the woman he loved. Alistair knew she was kind, but improving the elves' lives was kindness like he never seen before. Most people did not care for the elves' lives. He hoped her ideas were a sign of great change.


	4. III - The Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fourth chapter... I tried to update daily but it's tough! I can't believe it took me so long to actually upload this! I'm sooo sorry! School started and I'm a Teaching Assistant so I've been kept busy.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, following, giving kudos, etc... ! I also like comments, no matter how small! If there's anything you don't like in this story or if you have any guesses as to what's going to happen... Let me know!
> 
> LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The characters and locations don't belong to me; they belong to Bioware and EA and I'm simply using them to fuel this thing called my muse.

"We should go to the docks, this time!" Katharyne exclaimed as she leaned over her balcony, peering towards the bay, feeling the soft breeze and salty air from the ocean caressing her cheeks, her brown hair shifting in the wind.

A whole week had passed since the Alienage visit and Katharyne had been kept busy by her planning for the new Alienage laws and repairs. Her proposal was finally taking shape and she only had a few more things to add to it before the next council meeting. Cailan was still out at sea but had sent news of success and his return.

"No." Alistair said sharply from inside her room. He was sitting on the armchair closest to the door, reading a book. Katharyne turned to face him, grumbling under her breath as she walked back towards the room.

"No?"

"No."

"Why not? You can protect me! I can even protect myself, you know that."

"Just because" He replied coolly.

"Why?"

"Because"

"Because of what?"

"Because... I said so."

"I told you when we were ten, 'Because' is not a valid answer" Katharyne replied, sulking lightly as she learned on the doorframe, staring at him.

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not!"

"Yes. It. Is."

"No!" She exclaimed, pouting and her hands balled into tight fists.

"Yes!" He exclaimed as well, sitting up in his chair.

"Ugh! Fine! Stubborn man!" Katharyne grumbled as she turned her attention back to the bay. "I swear... If I didn't love you as much as I do, you would make me go insane with your pseudo-monosyllabic sentences..." She whispered.

"Wait... What?" She heard Alistair gasp behind her.

Katharyne stiffened as she realized what had escaped her lips. This truly wasn't the way she had wanted to tell him. She turned around slowly, blushing lightly as she slipped back in the room, closing the door behind her before leaning her back on it. She watched Alistair from there, noticing his face was a shifting between puzzlement and delight.

"Katharyne... What did you... What did you say just now?" He asked lowly, a tinge of hope in his voice.

"You... You heard me..." She whispered, feeling like she was seventeen again, after their fleeting kiss. She stared down at her hands, avoiding his gaze.

"You... love me? Me? Truthfully?" He said, Katharyne hearing his steps approaching her slowly. She nodded.

"So, you truly love me..." He repeated. "Wow...!" He whispered.

"Yes..." She answered in a soft whisper, avoiding his gaze still.

He wrapped his arms around her tenderly, wrapping her in his scent. Katharyne could hear his heart beating faster than normal... Or was it hers? She felt him slip two of his fingers under her chin before he tilted her head up lightly so she would look at him. She saw his amber eyes, filled with a mixture of happiness and pain, were searching hers as he held her close. He leaned in slowly until their noses were brushing lightly. He seemed to be hesitating, holding onto her tightly. Closing her eyes, she leaned up slowly to meet him, her lips brushing his softly. He seemed to snap out of a stupor as he pulled her closer and pressed his lips to hers deeply. Katharyne quivered at the touch, feeling weak in the knees as they kissed. She reached her arms around his shoulders to pull him as close to her as it was physically possible. She felt his hands roam her body before they rested in the small of her back, pulling her closer to him as well.

She felt his tongue slip between his lips and lick her bottom lip. She gasped in surprise and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue in. When she felt his tongue move into her mouth, she let out a low moan, feeling a shiver run through her spine and a new warmth pooled in her belly. She melted, suddenly aware that he was leaning her on the wall. Alistair moaned, a deep satisfied sound and she felt strange at the noise, whimpering when she felt one of his hands resting on her behind. The touch snapped her out of her trance and she pulled away from him, panting loudly, their noses still touching.

"Katharyne...?" He breathed her name.

"Alistair... I..."

"Why...?" He whispered.

"Why, what...?" She responded, pulling away lightly but not leaving his arms.

"Why me?" He replied, his eyes serious.

"I don't know... I... just... I just knew." She answered meekly.

"How long have you..." He started, guiding her to the nearby armchair.

"Known? Since I became sixteen I think... But I didn't realize it until the year I returned and you were..." She took a deep breath as she sat on his lap.

"Gone to Redcliffe." He finished before she nodded.

"I'm sorry, Katharyne... I had to... I didn't know how you felt. I was confused about my feelings..." He sighed.

Katharyne nodded as he spoke, not uttering a word.

"When I'm around you, I always find myself smiling. You make me feel warmth inside and for as far as I can remember; you've been in my life and I wish you could be in it until I die... but... it wouldn't... I... What I mean is that I... I..." He rambled on, blushing lightly and avoiding her eyes.

"Are you trying to say you love me too?" Katharyne asked, feeling her cheeks redden.

"Wasn't that kiss enough to prove it?" He whispered, turning his head to the side, his eyes shut. "I love you, Katharyne. I've loved you for so long..." He continued as he opened his eyes and turned his gaze to hers.

"How long have you known...?" Katharyne asked as she held his gaze, feeling his hands wrap around and rest in the small of her back.

"I think it was right after when we were ten... After you sat with me." He answered, twirling a strand of her curly hair between his fingers.

"Truly? It was that long ago? What made you... fall for me?" She whispered, searching his eyes.

"Yes, truly. No one had really paid me any attention as you did. You were nice and spoke to me while no one else really did, especially not someone like you, the lady Katharyne." He answered.

"And as we grew, your figure..." He coughed lightly, embarrassed. "... changed and I felt more and more attracted to you. But when our lips met, I... just knew."

Katharyne bit her bottom lip as he spoke, suddenly realizing something.

"Did you leave for Redcliffe because of me?" She asked.

"Yes, I left for Redcliffe as soon as you left Denerim. As you were Prince Cailan's betrothed, I wanted to forget you... And so, I had no intention of coming back. However, Arl Eamon's wife, Lady Isolde was unhappy with me in Redcliffe and as you are aware, I was sent back to Denerim this winter past." He explained glumly.

"Why was Lady Isolde unhappy with you?"

"Oh, nothing of import, love." He answered.

Katharyne smiled at the term of endearment and she leaned up to kiss him lightly on the lips.

"I was so sure I wouldn't see you again, that seeing you on my first day in Denerim... overwhelmed me."

"Which is why you were crying..." He whispered.

"Yes." She answered as he pushed some hair out of her face as he smiled.

"Maker, you're beautiful... If only I could steal you away... Away from Denerim, away from Cailan." He whispered.

Katharyne suddenly remembered her absent husband and felt tears threatening to fall. She was married now, whether it was consummated or not.

"Alistair... My husband. We can't... We shouldn't... I'm a married woman, but we..." She exclaimed as she got up, facing him. "But... I've longed for you, your kiss... your touch..."

"I know."

"In the eyes of the Maker is it sinful that I want to be with you? Even if I am married...?"

"The Maker might not forgive me, but I've loved you for longer than Cailan... And that cannot be sinful, can it?"

"Wait, did you say Cailan loves me?"

"Yes. I was part if his own personal guard before he requested I became yours. And since last winter, before you arrived in Denerim, I found him many a time staring at your portrait with a longing look."

"How do you know it was a look of love?" Katharyne scoffed a little, unsure what to think.

"If it isn't love, I don't know what else it could be. " Alistair said.

"It could be lust." Katharyne grumbled.

"He's not such a man... I know the look he had, I've had that look before."

"Oh, Alistair..." She sighed lightly, walking back to the chair where he was sitting.

"You know Cailan as well as I, if not a lot more, and you know how he feels about me... Although, his actions last year were quite different..." She admitted as she sat down on his lap.

They spoke until the break of dawn, both falling asleep on Katharyne's bed.

"Could you come to my room later, Alistair?" She whispered shyly in his ear the next evening.


	5. IV - The Destiny of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains some very detailed mature content, it's a smut chapter. If you are not interested in the smut part, move to the end of the chapter where we learn a little bit about Alistair's time in Redcliffe while Katharyne was left in Denerim.
> 
> This chapter switches between their two POVs (I don't do it often, I know...). I think I'll be posting a few chapters all at the same time.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, following, liking, etc... ! I also like comments, no matter how small! If there's anything you don't like in this story or if you have any guesses as to what's going to happen... Let me know there!
> 
> LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The characters and locations don't belong to me; they belong to Bioware and EA and I'm simply using them to fuel this thing called my muse.

"Could you come to my room later, Alistair?" She had whispered shyly in his ear as she departed the dining room, a few evenings after she had first confessed her feelings to him.

Alistair bolted up from his chair as soon as Katharyne left the room. He made his way to his quarters in the guard barracks, whispering to himself.

"Could she be thinking of...? No, impossible. Alistair, you know she's chaste... She's not like other women."

' _But Cailan is absent... and you know she hasn't been taken yet. You wouldn't let him take her before you, would you?_ ' A small voice whispered in his mind. ' _You have dreamt it, thought about it, you love her. So why not act on it?_ '

"But she's my half-brother's wife... The queen. She could be in danger if something ever happens between us... Adultery is... is wrong" He hissed to himself.

Against his better judgement, Alistair changed into a loose cobalt woollen tunic and started making his way to her room. He swayed on his feet nervously when he arrived to the large oaken doors inside the antechamber leading to her room. He paced back and forth, mumbling to himself before he finally rasped his knuckles on the door.

Katharyne had changed into a loose cream coloured chemise that fell halfway down her calves and was sitting on the edge of her bed. She fidgeted as she waited, playing with the ribbons holding the chemise closed before shifting her attention to the azure ribbon holding her curly hair together in a thick braid. Katharyne felt extremely nervous at the thought of what she had asked of Alistair.

"Better him than Cailan first... Right?" She whispered to herself over and over again.

She hopped off of her bed and started pacing about her room before suddenly stopping as she heard the rasping of knuckles on her door. She cleared her throat and the doors opened slowly, the hinges creaking. He entered silently and bolted the door behind him before he turned to face her. He gasped lightly, his stare making Katharyne blush.

He approached her slowly, his eyes trailing up and down her body as he walked. She leaned back on the bed, sitting on the edge once more, letting him approach. He stopped in front of her, reaching for her chin. He leaned down, brushing his lips to hers. Their first kiss since they day she had accidently confessed her feelings.

The kiss was hesitant, uncertain, and different from their initial kiss. He pressed his mouth against hers so delicately she could barely feel it. Arching her back, she responded to his kiss warily, soft moist lips meeting rough and rugged ones in a tortuous dance. She felt the warmth that had settled in her belly roaring to life. His right hand slipped to the back of her head as he pulled her forward, his left hand resting at the small of her back. The light touch of his fingers sent a shiver throughout her body, making her skin feel ablaze. He pushed her down on the bed slowly, his lips not letting go of hers. He pulled away slightly as he started to trail his lips down her chin and to her neck. A low moan escaped Katharyne's lips as he did so, her back arching slightly.

He pulled away, his dark amber gaze meeting her mint green eyes. He stared deep in her eyes, his face lingering so close to hers that she could see the shadows of his lashes dancing on his cheeks. He leaned in once more, capturing her lips in a searing kiss before he trailed wet kisses to her neck. She closed her eyes as he suckled on her skin. She felt his trembling left hand tugging at the ribbon holding her chemise closed, untying it and loosening the chemise. She felt his shaking hands pulling the chemise away as he stopped kissing her neck, pulling away.

Katharyne opened her eyes and shifted her gaze to Alistair who was on his knees between her legs, staring at her. She noticed a rosy blush on his cheeks; a dark and hungry look in his eyes.

"Maker's breath..." He whispered.

"What is it?" Katharyne breathed, feeling her cheeks flushing under his gaze.

"You are so much more beautiful than I imagined..." His gaze trailed down and rested on the brown curls between her legs. Katharyne instinctively closed her legs, biting her bottom lip as she realised how naked she truly was. But that did not matter anymore. She sat up slightly, removing the chemise from under her before resting her weight on her forearms, facing him.

Alistair observed her languorously as she removed the chemise. She moved with determination all the while being embarrassed. He saw a look of apprehension in her eyes as she shifted the chemise from under her and threw it on the ground. The tip of her pink tongue darted out to moisten her lips as she looked at him. Alistair reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head before he reached for her, his fingers grazing her side timidly, her hip rising at his gentle touch. At this small act of encouragement, he reached forward, his eyes never leaving hers while his right hand continued its tantalising path over her hips and waist and then up to the curve of her right breast. Katharyne's eyes fluttered as his hand kneaded the soft flesh of her breast, his fingers toying with the nipple lazily. She let out a low, wheezy gasp as he pulled her into a hungry kiss – lips, teeth and tongue. She wrapped her arms around him, easing him on top of her before her hands found their way to his golden hair. He settled his body in the warm embrace, her long legs wrapped around him.

Alistair gulped, his growing erection pushing against his breeches painfully, the hardness touching her belly through cloth. His desire was rising quicker than he had anticipated, and he could not halt its course. All Alistair wanted at that very moment was to bury himself inside of the woman he loved, to hear soft whimpers of ecstasy escape her lips – his name moaned by her rosy lips. He weighted his body on his left forearm, working his mouth down her neck once more, pressing languid kisses in the valley between her breasts before finding her stiffening nipple and sucking on it gently.

"Oh...! Alistair...!" She moaned, making his stomach squeeze at the sound of her pleasure. He trailed his right hand down her body and between her legs, brushing his fingers on her soaked curls. He slipped his hand down between her legs, reaching her wetness. Slick, hot and all too inviting, he bit his bottom lip as he teased the sensitive nub at the top of the lips between her legs. He heard her gasp as he reached the nub, circling it with his thumb, brushing his fingers back and forth in her wetness. Katharyne's hips were moving against him, grinding harder as he slipped his middle finger inside of her. Her fingernails were scraping into his back, but he could not feel pain. All that mattered was Katharyne.

When Alistair plunged his finger inside of her, Katharyne felt like she could cry out, the intrusion having surprised her for a second. As he pushed his finger in and out of her, she was muttering incomprehensible words as he touched parts of her she had not known existed. She could feel his hardness pressing into her stomach, straining against his breeches. "Alistair... please... " She murmured, arching her back.

He pulled away from her body, resting on his knees between her legs, Katharyne whimpering at the lack of his touch. She stared down at him, biting her bottom lip. He moved his hands down and started to undo the laces of his breeches, fumbling lightly. She observed him in the candlelight as he pulled down his breeches slowly, revealing his hardness. She gasped as she saw his erection, feeling slightly frightened. She had nobody to compare him to, but his size startled her. The hardness protruding between his legs was flushed and throbbing.

"Alistair... I can't... how will your... how will you fit inside?" She breathed, worried. "It will hurt... won't it?"

"It won't hurt, love... Where did you hear that?" He murmured, now sitting on the bed and removing his breeches, one leg at a time.

"A few of the servants said... they said it would hurt..." She whispered, squirming at the lack of his touch, a longing in her loins.

"Oh, love... With what I felt between your legs, you might feel a slight discomfort but it really shouldn't hurt you as you imagine it so..." Alistair smiled lightly as he explained in a low voice. He flashed her a small lopsided smirk, leaning on his heels. He leaned in, shifting his body to the side so that his throbbing erection wouldn't rest on the bed. Katharyne felt a flush of embarrassment as he brushed his lips on the inside of her thighs, suddenly realising what he intended.

"Alistair... You... I've never... You shouldn't be down... there..." She managed to utter between breaths as he trailed kisses between her legs, getting closer to her core. She giggled lowly as she felt his stubble brush the sensitive skin of her thighs.

"Shh..." He whispered as his lips reached her opening, pressing soft kisses to her centre. He started slowly, spreading the lips slightly with his right hand, circling her nub with his tongue. He shifted lightly, suckling on her nub. Katharyne arched her back in pleasure, curling her toes in the bed's sheets. The warmth she felt in her belly was increasing, creating pressure. She panted as bright flashes crossed her eyes, making her vision blurry. She tugged on his hair as he entered his middle finger once more, wrapping her legs around him. She felt him slip in another finger inside of her and started thrusting it inside leisurely. The second finger made the hot pressure in her belly balloon, sending her over the edge. Her mind went blank as she felt waves of pleasure rippling through her body, arching her back, her body quivering.

Her vision was still blurry when she felt him move above her. It was in a foggy daze that she saw his face above hers, smiling. He licked his lips. She pressed her right palm against her face, blushing deeply at the intimacy that was just shared.

"Katharyne, love... Look at me" He whispered raggedly as he removed her hand slowly.

Her breath caught in her throat as he did so, seeing how intently he was looking at her. His gaze so earnest and tender, open and wanting that she bit back a moan. She bit her bottom lip, too afraid to look away. He brushed a kiss on her cheek, his burning length brushing the inside of her thigh.

Her face was a sight for sore eyes. Rosy, flushed skin and wide doe-like eyes staring at him. He nudged her nose with his, a small grin on his face before he kissed her once more. As his tongue danced with hers, he reached for the closest pillow and slipped it underneath her waist to angle her hips. His heartbeat felt like a loud drum in his chest as he positioned himself between her legs. Her green gaze met his, her eyes still slightly glazed over from toppling over the edge. He rested his hands on her hips as he positioned himself at her entrance. He kept his eyes locked with hers as he eased himself slowly inside of her, her wetness coating him. He stopped at the tip, noticing her eyes had grown wide and her bottom lip having disappeared inside her mouth. She nodded lightly in encouragement as she took a deep breath, her breasts rising. Alistair continued easing himself in slowly, feeling her hands now gripping his wrists. He stopped once more to look down at her. Her green eyes were shut, her lips forming an 'oh'.

"Don't stop... Please, Alistair..." She murmured shakily.

He nodded and pushed himself inside to the hilt in one swift motion. He stayed unmoving as she hissed, adjusting to his intrusion. Her hands were holding on to him tightly and suddenly the realization hit him. He was inside of her. He finally felt complete. An overwhelming wave of emotion rushed through him, rendering him almost numb. He settled inside of her before he started to move in and out of her in languorous thrusts. She tightened her legs, wrapping them around his waist instinctively. Her eyes were closed, her back arched. Slowly, he started to rock into her steadily, increasing his pace ever so slightly. He brushed his right hand lovingly over her face, caressing her cheek before he leaned in so that his forehead was resting on hers.

He kept thrusting inside languidly, getting lost inside of her.

"Alistair... Please make me feel like you did... earlier..." She whispered between low moans, stretching her hand over his back. He nodded at her request, starting to increase his pace every thrust, alternating between slow, lazy thrusts and hard, rough ones. Her nails were scrapping his back once more but Alistair paid it no mind. He felt pressure building between his legs with every thrust, moving faster and rougher. Katharyne whimpered and moaned sinfully below him with each passing thrust. Alistair felt closer to his release with each noise that escaped her pink lips.

He pulled his body away from hers as he thrust inside fast and rough, her legs now propped upon his shoulders. He stretched his right hand to the small swollen nub between her legs and started circling it with his fingers, making her moan. Katharyne arched her back and reached for her breasts, her face contortioned in ecstasy. He felt her walls quiver around him as she reached her climax, making his hardness shake, the pressure ready to burst. He pulled out of her swiftly, bellowing her name as his vision went black and he emptied himself on her belly before falling on top of her.

Katharyne was staring up at the bed's canopy, panting harshly, her arms around Alistair's body. The haze of her last orgasm was slowly lifting, she felt her heartbeat slowing down, harmonizing with Alistair's. She trailed her fingers down his muscular back, tracing the small marks her nails had done.

"Wow... Maker, that was..." She whispered shakily.

Alistair looked up at her, his chin resting in the valley of her breasts. He smiled up at her, his brow drenched in sweat. He propped himself on his forearms before he bounded off of her and out of the bed. Katharyne groaned at the sudden coldness, the warmth of his body now gone.

"Alistair, where are you going?" She asked lazily as he walked towards the large stone bath.

"I need to clean you up..." He mumbled, a small smile etched on his face as she saw him reach for a cloth. He approached the bed once more, wiping away the release he spilled on her belly, making Katharyne giggle gleefully. He stared at her, still smiling before he proceeded to clean his own abdomen. He pulled the covers from under her and draped them over before he slipped inside the bed.

Katharyne sighed happily as she snuggled up to him, resting her head on his firm chest.

"I love you..." She whispered as she traced circles on his chest with her fingers.

"And I, you"

"You were right, love. This didn't hurt me as I thought it would..." She said "I am a little sore, but..."

"But?" He replied, worriedly.

"But it's alright. I didn't hurt like the maids had described it and because it was with you..." She answered, blushing as he pulled her closer in a tight hug. "I must say, however, you really seemed to know what you were doing down there, love."

Katharyne felt Alistair stiffen in her arms. She looked up but he avoided her gaze. "What's the matter, Alistair?"

"Would you..." He sighed. "Would you think any less of me if I told you... I had a bed warmer in Redcliffe?" He answered, avoiding her gaze.

Katharyne sat up and looked at Alistair intently before she smiled. "You? You of all people had a bed warmer?" She said in disbelief, a small smile growing on her lips. "What was her name?" She asked.

"Giselle..."

"What did she look like, that 'Giselle' of yours? How did you meet her?" Katharyne asked, sitting up completely propping her elbows on her knees, her chin resting on her knuckles.

"A little bit like you, to be completely honest. Her hair was a bit darker and straighter, her nose was more aquiline and her eyes were... a deeper green. She was a servant at Redcliffe castle and she took a liking to me within a few days. Another guard bet me I would not be capable to invite her to my bed so..."

"So, you decided to prove him wrong and asked her to come to your bed" Katharyne finished for him.

"Yes. Keep in mind, I was trying to get my mind off of you and it felt like a good idea at the time."

"So, how did she feel when she was in your bed?"

"I will never know, I... I did not sleep with the woman."

"But you said you had a bed warmer..."

"Yes."

"You do know what a bed warmer is, right?" Katharyne asked, a small grin on her face.

"Of course I know!" He exclaimed indignantly, "I am using the term literally for that's what she was. She only warmed my bed. I explained to her that I had feelings for another, for you. I also explained the bet to her and she laughed. She agreed to act like my bed warmer until I saw fit to send her away..."

"So you never slept with the woman."

"No."

"But... That doesn't explain how you knew how to please me down there, love." Katharyne pouted.

"Right. Giselle and I may have never slept together in that sense, but she helped me understand how to pleasure a woman if 'I ever met the right one once more' as she put it."

"So you never...?" Katharyne looked at the man she loved intently, in disbelief.

"Never what? Slept with a woman? Until now, no." He answered firmly. "No other woman was worth it. I realized it within a few months of being in Redcliffe that I could never give you up..."

"Wow... How long was she around for?"

"About a month or so. Afterwards, she went back to her duties as a simple housemaid and the other guard paid me handsomely. I gave half of it to Giselle as thanks for her help."

"Do you know what happened to her since?"

"She's married now. To a fisherman from the village." Alistair answered.

"Say, if you had never... been with a woman. Did you ever find release?" She asked meekly, a pink blush on her cheeks.

"Yes, many a night, dear. And do you know what would always escape my lips?"

"What?" She asked, her gaze locked with his.

"Your name..." He answered sheepishly.

"Wow, like you did earlier? I must say, the way it sounded, escaping your lips... was very thrilling. Just as I had dreamt it."

"You've dreamt of us, together?" Alistair asked in disbelief.

"Yes, many nights, love. The dreams were also so beautiful but they were always such pure agony, since I thought I would never see you again. You were always in my dreams, you know? Never another man, never Cailan... Only you." She explained in a small whisper.

Alistair pulled her closer once she finished her explanation.

"I love you, I love you, I love you!" He whispered as he peppered kisses all over her face, Katharyne giggling into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you might not have liked this chapter. Sorry! I know you might think it's not realistic to not hurt too much for your first time, etc... But if I'm being honest, it really shouldn't hurt if there was enough foreplay leading to lubrication ahead of the penetration, it might sting a little bit but it will not to the point of screaming in pain.


	6. V - The Royal Duty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Intercourse happens in this chapter and non-con (but obligatory - you'll see why) intercourse also happens.
> 
> Now, things are really going to be going down! I think this chapter is one of my favourites! Another chapter published on the same day. I might as well post all of them.
> 
> As always, thank you all lovely readers for reading, following, liking, etc... ! I also like comments, no matter how small! If there's anything you don't like in this story or if you have any guesses as to what's going to happen... Please let me know! I love when readers try and guess, because sometimes the guess can be sooo close!
> 
> LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The characters and locations don't belong to me; they belong to Bioware and EA and I'm simply using them to fuel this thing called my muse.

"No, Ser. My decision is final."

It was a week after their first night together. Cailan was still out at sea and Alistair was observing the royal council meeting to the left of the large oaken chair where Katharyne was sitting in the place of Cailan, Shianni to her left and the Arl of Denerim to her right. She was standing, facing Teyrn Loghain who was glaring at her intensely, both palms slammed down on the large wood table.

"But... Your Majesty! The costs to repair the Alienage entirely, to host the elves elsewhere and... and to keep security at all times for those... those..." He exclaimed.

"Those what, ser? 'Those worthless knife-ears?' 'Those elves' is that it?" Katharyne replied, a sneer on her face. "As far as I am concerned, no life is worthless in the eyes of the Maker. Elves included."

"Aye." The Grand Cleric agreed lowly, nodding.

"But to tear down the wooden dwellings to build stone houses is unthinkable! And the upkeep will increase! What about guards? We don't have enough guards and not one of the guards will want to be posted there. We don't have the resources or the money! It is impossible! What would the King think?"

Katharyne laughed loudly at Teyrn Loghain's arguments, shaking her head before looking back up at him.

"If he were here, the King would agree with me. Done are the days where elves are forced to be segregated from the rest of the city. They are citizens of this city as much as you and I. The gates will remain open and elves will be allowed to move about the city and within Ferelden. They are free to do as they will."

"Ha! And what about guards? And resources? This is impossible to carry out!"

"On the contrary, Ser." Katharyne chuckled as she paced in front of the wooden throne. "Remember when I said that the elves are free to do as they will? If elves wish to join the guard and alleviate our search for new recruits, they are welcome to."

"But elves are not allowed to carry weapons... it's against the law."

"Not if the elves are free people of Ferelden" Katharyne answered. "That decree is to be revoked, ensuring elves have the same rights as any other individual in Ferelden."

"And if elves wish to leave? Where would they go?" Teyrn Loghain sneered.

"The Alienage in Highever is large enough to accommodate any elf who wishes to be relocated during the repairs. Elves who wish to leave Denerim to start anew will also receive a stipend of 10 sovereigns each so that they may purchase land or cattle."

"10 sovereigns each? You..." Alistair saw a sneer cross Loghain's face. "We do not have the funds to accommodate such expenses!" The man exclaimed as Katharyne sat back down, looking down at her fingernails in an apathetic manner.

"Less that one fifth of my dowry would be needed to repair both the Alienage and the market all while giving a stipend to the elves. Therefore, it is exactly what we will be using to fund these changes. It really will not cost us much gold and may even increase our revenue in the long term." She replied before sitting straight in the large chair.

"Your Majesty, I cannot condone— "

"This is my decision and it is final." Katharyne cut him off with a commanding voice.

Alistair shifted on his feet, strangely aroused by Katharyne's authoritative manner. His thoughts drifted to the last few nights they had spent together, realizing he wanted to take her over the large table. He coughed lightly at the idea.

"Ser Urien, will you call for the vote?" She asked the Arl of Denerim. The man got up from his chair and faced the other members of the table.

"Yes, your Majesty! All in favour for her Majesty's new decree to be established please raise your right hand and say 'aye'!" He declared in a loud voice.

Alistair held back a smile as everyone, except Loghain, raised their hand and declared 'Aye!'

"It is settled! Henceforth, all elves in Ferelden are free to take up arms, buy land and live somewhere other than an Alienage. Meanwhile, it has been agreed that the Alienage in Denerim is to be repaired and maintained to ensure a better way of life for its inhabitants." Arl Urien of Denerim declared as the royal scribe wrote down the decree. The parchment was passed down to Katharyne, so she could review it. She was handed the royal seal, an inkwell and a quill. She signed and applied the royal seal before passing it to Arl Urien and the Grand Cleric before they too applied their personal seals.

"Was there anything else on the agenda?" Katharyne asked as the new decree was bound into a large book.

"No ma'am..." Was the scribe's response.

"Then, this meeting is adjourned." Katharyne said as she got out of the chair, her action followed by the other members of the council. "Goodbye gentlemen, Shianni, Grand Cleric." She nodded to each of them as they filed out of the room. Alistair noticed Loghain shooting her a nasty look before he slipped out of the room last. She let out a loud sigh as the doors shut loudly, leaning her forehead on her hands. Alistair walked around the chair and leaned slightly on the table, facing her.

"That Teyrn Loghain... I swear! He's the most stubborn man I've ever encountered!" She exclaimed loudly. "And I thought Fergus was stubborn..." She whispered to herself.

"He's just unhappy about the change, that's all, love." Alistair said as he settled on the table, his arms crossed, smiling lightly.

"He's unhappy about breaking intolerant and narrow-minded 'traditions' you mean." Katharyne answered, matter-of-factly.

"Yes, that's what I mean, love. But don't let it bother you" Alistair replied with a small sigh.

She looked up at him, smiling meekly.

"You're right, I won't let it bother me. I am the Queen after all." She retorted, chuckling lightly.

"Exactly. You are the Queen and you should relax." He answered, his gaze fixated on her.

"I know of a way to relax, and you can help me with it, my love" She grinned as she got up from the chair and leaned into him, resting her hands behind him on the table.

"You do? And what is it? Pray tell, my lady..." Alistair whispered, feeling his groin tighten at the proximity of her body, being able to see his reflection and the glimmer of the torches on the amethysts around her neck.

Katharyne grinned as she trailed her right hand over his pants, her fingers brushing over his groin ever so slightly. She leaned into him and kissed his neck gently, making her way up to his lips. She brushed her bottom lip to his, pulling him in a deep kiss. Alistair pulled her closer to him, resting her between his legs as their lips melded together.

Katharyne pulled away for air and chewed on her bottom lip, smiling lightly. Alistair growled at the sight, flipping her body so that it was resting on the edge of the table. She drew in a short breath as he moved her.

"Oh Maker..." She moaned as she felt him trail gentle but wet kisses from her mouth to her collarbone. She arched her back as she felt his hands cupping her breasts, his head resting on her shoulder. Katharyne felt his left hand roam down, sliding against her hip and thigh, hiking her elaborate lilac dress up to her knees. Alistair slipped a hand between her legs, his fingers brushing her wet curls, making Katharyne whimper.

"Oh Maker... Love, you are always so responsive... and ready for me." He whispered, in awe as always.

Katharyne let out a gasp at his touch, reaching for his pants. Alistair chuckled as he helped her with the laces before he pulled them down, letting the fabric pool at his ankles. His arousal was prominent between his legs as he lay her down on the table, her legs spread out for him. He approached and cradled his hips between her naked thighs. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly whilst the side of his face was nestled between her clothed breasts. Alistair could hear her quickening heartbeat, sounding like a drum to his ear. She hissed as he pulled away, growling when he finally slid between her folds. He reacquainted himself with her exquisite warmth and tightness as her body relaxed and adjusted to the feeling of his member filling her completely.

Alistair started moving again, rocking his hips, back and forth. The friction formed the now familiar pool of warmth in her stomach as Katharyne moaned. Her legs were hanging off of the oaken table as he thrust inside of her in slow languid movements. His right hand firmly set on the table, his left one cupped a breast, feeling a taut nipple through the light layers of her dress. "Oh... Oh, Alistair..." Katharyne moaned as he thrust hard and deep inside of her, his member hitting all of her sensitive spots. His movements were almost animalistic in nature as they became much more erratic.

She wrapped her thighs around him, feeling a bubbling inside of her as he hit deeper than he had before. With one hard thrust, he struck something inside her and Katharyne cried out, his name escaping her lips. Her thighs squeezed his hips, pushing him deep inside her as the pulsating centre of her body squeezed his hard length. Her name escaped his lips as she felt his legs quiver, spilling his seed inside of her, her body milking him.

He crashed on top of her, panting loudly. He pulled her close as they basked in the glow of their orgasms, whispering sweet nothings to each other.

A full moon had passed when Katharyne woke up with the sunrise that morning. She smiled as she saw the light filtering through the sheer curtains, stretching in her bed lazily. She felt Alistair's body next to hers first before she felt his arms sneak around her to pull her close to him. She caressed his cheek lovingly, content with lying in bed for another few hours, when she heard bells starting to ring.

"No" Was the only word to escape her lips.

She sat up in bed quickly, knowing what the bells meant. There was only one reason for them to ring at such an early hour.

"Cailan has returned..." She whispered, her gaze trailing to meet Alistair's.

He looked at her gravely before he nodded sadly. He hopped out of bed first and slipped on his clothes. Katharyne slipped out of the bed and helped him tie his armour quickly before he pulled her into a longing hug and a passionate kiss. Her naked body shivered against the cold armour before he disappeared through a secret door hidden behind a tapestry.

He was not gone long when servants walked in her room through the main doors. They moved about the room quickly, bathing her and laying out a dress. By midday, she was bathed and perfumed. The servants helped her into undergarments and into the low-cut creamy white and gold embroided satin dress they had laid out. Loose sleeves were cut at mid-shoulder, creating a split where the yellow and gold tight sleeves could peek out from. The servants started braiding her hair in a wide array of braids, intertwining white ribbons to create a twisted and complicated hairstyle. A milky white velvet cape was wrapped lightly around her shoulders, warm but still exposing her cleavage.

She sighed sadly as she then made her way towards the courtyard, accompanied by servants and guards. She was going to greet the King, her husband. Reality was finally upon her, the last two months feeling like a dream.

She noticed Alistair standing with the other castle guards as she made her way to the courtyard. Her gaze didn't linger once they made eye contact and she shifted it to the ground. The Arl of Denerim and other advisors were standing to one side, so Katharyne made her way to the middle. She waved Shianni over so that the elven girl would be standing next to her. The deafening bells kept ringing all over the city but Katharyne made sure she appeared unfazed as the gates were opened and the royal party pulled in.

King Cailan rode in the courtyard astride his white steed, his golden armour shining brightly in the sun. Alistair observed his half-brother as the man came to a stop and jumped off his horse in one swift motion. He noticed his light face was darker and windburnt from months at sea. Cailan looked around and Alistair saw his eyes rest on Katharyne. His smile grew tenfold at the sight of her. He observed the King approach his Queen, bow down and kiss her hand gently before he stood up and looked at her up and down.

Alistair noticed how his half-brother's gaze rested on her bosom for a time longer than what was appropriate before he pulled her in and kissed her fully on the lips. Alistair felt a sting in his heart at the scene, knowing full well that jealousy was rearing its ugly head where it didn't belong. He also noticed, however, that Katharyne wasn't responding to the kiss as she would with him. Cailan pulled away and wrapped an arm around her waist, resting his hand in the small of her back.

"What a joyous day! To finally be with my beautiful Queen! Let's make haste to the chantry and finally exchange our royal rings as man and wife, King and Queen!" Cailan exclaimed as the people cheered around them.

The large party gathered in the chantry to watch the exchange of the rings. Alistair was forced to watch his half-brother promptly and officially marry the love of his life. As the royals departed for the dining hall, Alistair excused himself and stayed behind, staring at a statue of Andraste and asking for forgiveness from the Maker.

"I hear you were reacquainted with the Queen, Alistair." He heard a deep familiar voice behind him.

Alistair gulped and turned around to see Duncan, the wizened Captain of the Guard who had also returned from the sea.

"Yes." Was all that Alistair was able to mutter.

"I also hear you've spent quite some time with her Majesty..." The man continued.

"Yes, well, I was a familiar face... And I have supported her in the past few weeks..." Alistair replied, trying his best to not appear nervous.

Duncan looked at him intently as if he knew something more, but if he did, he stayed silent.

"Do I... have to go to the bedding tonight, sir?" He asked in a weak voice.

"You know you do, Alistair... You are the queen's guard. If something were to happen..." Duncan started as he turned to walk.

"I know..." The younger man replied, before they made their way towards the dining hall.

Katharyne ate slowly and silently as the wedding festivities were going on in the dining hall. She was seated next to King Cailan who was talking loudly with his advisors at the other end of the table. Fighting a throbbing ache in her head, she turned to her food and talking to Shianni lowly. She noticed Alistair and the older captain of the guard slip inside the dining hall, both standing to the side, near doors. As the mead and wine were flowing, the discussions kept getting louder and the people kept getting drunker. Katharyne was hoping that the bedding ceremony would be forgotten in all the revels. She was trying to buy time by eating as slow as possible, but the courses came and went. As the dessert made of fine Antivan sugar was taken away, she realized that it was time. The moment she had been dreading since her arrival in Denerim... The first bedding of the queen by the king.

Katharyne sighed, a little worried as she had already been deflowered. But the most worrisome was the idea of being bedded with a public present.

After the dining bell announcing the end of the revels was sound, servants brought her to a large antechamber. They dressed her in sheer white chemise before they undid her hair, the brown curls cascading down her back and over her shoulders. She was then pulled through the large dark oaken doors and into a large room where a canopy bed lay in the middle. The bed's cover was a red quilt and the canopy was a deep red and gold. As she looked around, she noticed that there was a wooden balcony on the right side of the room, the wooden seats being filled with lords and ladies of the court, servants and some important members of the populace.

To her dismay, she noticed the amber eyes she loved so much in the crowd.

"No... Alistair..." He, of all people, was going to witness this event.

She was set down on the bed before Cailan was brought in, naked as the day he was born. People cheered as he walked in and he smiled gaily. Katharyne's eyes trailed down his muscular body and to his member. She couldn't help but think that the King, being a few inches smaller, was not as well endowed as Alistair and she smiled to herself.

The man approached the bed, a lustful look in his eyes as he reached his fingers to the chemise. He undressed her not too gently, ripping the chemise off of her. His rough, windburnt fingers trailed on her body, sending unwanted shivers through her spine. She tried to lock her gaze with his, as she had done with Alistair, but the man's eyes were simply roaming her body, avoiding her eyes. She could feel his arousal pressed against her leg as he laid on top of her, kneading her breasts and kissing her roughly, his alcohol breath making her want to retch.

The King grinned as he let go and flipped her around so she would be on her knees, his hands resting on her soft bottom. Without any warning, he suddenly pushed himself inside of her roughly. The harsh intrusion made Katharyne yelp out in pain and grasp the bed's quilt so tight that her knuckles were white. The man really wasn't gentle; his rough hands were grabbing her cheeks tightly, his uneven nails digging in her skin. He kept thrusting inside of her in rough, uneven movements, making her loins feel like they were on fire. He thrust inside harshly a few more times before spilling his seed inside of her.

The King pulled out and fell on top of her, spent. Katharyne decided not to move right away, hearing the shuffling of feet as people were leaving the balcony. Once she was sure people were gone, she hiccupped lightly, sobbing in the sheets. Cailan shifted from on top of her, moving beside her, snoring as he slept. She looked down at the sheets and noticed she didn't bleed, even if Cailan had been really rough.

She got off from the bed silently and went to the nearby desk. She looked through the drawers and found a letter opener. She made a small cut on her middle finger, drawing blood. She put it away and hurried back to the bed to let a few drops of blood fall on the bed and smearing it to imitate a deflowering. She sucked on her finger gently to stop the bleeding before she wiped herself between the legs.

Once she was done, Katharyne slipped under the quilted cover, staring at the canopy. Her thoughts drifted to Alistair.

"I'm sorry, my love..." She whispered as she felt a tear roll down her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not sure how the bedding would go in Thedas, however, I was inspired by the Middle Ages for this. I once learned that the practice of witnessing the consummation of marriage was practised in Germany, particularly among the nobility. I'm sure it wasn't such a big ordeal (so far as to have a balcony and a crowd) either, but for the sake of this story, there were more people there than there probably would've been.
> 
> The practice of having witnesses applied primarily to royalty/important people who used marriages to form alliances. (Without consummation, the marriage could be declared null) So, witnesses could testify to the validity of the marriage. If the bride became pregnant on the wedding night, the witnesses also helped to defend the legitimacy of the heir.


	7. VI - The News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My second favourite chapter and I'm giving it to you guys so early after the fifth one! Awesome! Did anyone think I'd bring in Duncan? Plot twist?! He's not a Grey Warden though, since there are no darkspawn... I always liked how he was a father figure to Alistair so I had to have him in here!
> 
> As always, thank you all lovely readers for reading, following, liking, etc... ! I also like comments, no matter how small! If there's anything you don't like in this story or if you have any guesses as to what's going to happen... Please let me know! I love when readers try and guess, because sometimes the guess can be sooo close!
> 
> LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The characters and locations don't belong to me; they belong to Bioware and EA and I'm simply using them to fuel this thing called my muse

Two moons passed since her 'first' bedding and Cailan had spent every single night with her since. Katharyne felt sore everywhere since Cailan was not a patient and gentle lover. After he was done, he would either fall asleep or more often than not, the king would get dressed and leave her alone with her thoughts. The two moons that passed had truly been dire for Katharyne.

Not two days after the bedding, Alistair had requested that he no longer would be part of her personal guard and back to being part of the King's personal guard. The captain of the guard, Duncan, had then reassigned a female guard named Ida to be Katharyne's personal guard. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, however, Katharyne focused on her wife and queen duties. Renovations to the Alienage were underway with the praises of Cailan and Katharyne spent much time with Shianni and the elves, to make sure everything was in order.

However, she had been feeling a little sickly of late and one morning, decided to address the situation with the royal physician. As she lay on her bed, he proceeded to examine her body and he asked her when she had last bled. The question threw Katharyne aback as she hadn't really paid it any mind since she had been busy. She counted back to where she had been due last and the day came back to memory. She had been supposed to be bleeding the week of the king's return.

She had, therefore, been impregnated the week right before Cailan's return. Katharyne sighed woefully as she realised that the child she was carrying was Alistair's.

She lied to the physician and said she hadn't bled since the bedding. The man was rejoicing and excused himself to go and tell the king, leaving Katharyne alone with her thoughts.

"What shall we do, little one?" She whispered as she rested a hand on her still flat stomach. She was happy the child had been created out of love, but was afraid of what might happen to them if it was found out she had had an affair.

A few moments later, her door burst open. The King entered, followed closely by Duncan to his left and Alistair to his right. Katharyne fought back tears at the sight of her love's crestfallen face. But as he walked next to the King, Katharyne couldn't help but feel uneasy. She observed that both men looked eerily alike; similar cheekbones, same nose and their eyes were also the same shape, albeit different colours.

"A royal heir!" Cailan exclaimed as he went down to his knees and kissed her belly. "My darling queen, this is wonderful news! You have made me the happiest man in Thedas!"

Katharyne said nothing, fearing that she would cry if she opened her mouth. Instead, she nodded and smiled as Cailan showered her with attentions, trying her best not to look at Alistair.

"We must announce it!" Cailan said loudly, ignoring the royal physician's protests that it was too early. "Come, Ser Duncan! I will make a royal announcement for everyone to hear! You rest, my darling."

The king turned on his heel, followed closely by the physician and Ser Duncan. Alistair sighed as the men left and he decided to linger. Katharyne sat back on her bed, avoiding his gaze. Alistair's eyes trailed down to her flat stomach, still not believing she was with child.

"So, you're with child..." Alistair said lowly, feeling a slight sneer rising to his face.

"Yes." She whispered meekly, playing with her hands.

"Cailan sure is happy... You're giving him an heir... and so soon after the bedding too! We should thank the Maker we didn't get you with child if you're so fertile." He said, sneering and unable to stop himself sounding full of disdain. Jealousy had finally reared its ugly head, the emotion making him avoid her gaze.

"You're... You're mad?!" Katharyne said abruptly, a tinge of sadness in her voice. His gaze moved to her face and he noticed her cheeks were damp with tears. "Why are you mad, Alistair?" She inquired, a weak sob escaping her lips

"I'm not mad! Disappointed? Maybe... But I'm not mad!" Alistair lied.

"You're lying..." She whispered, a hand resting protectively on her belly.

"Fine! Yes, I'm mad! And insanely jealous!" Alistair retorted.

"Why? Did you think that I would leave Cailan for you, Alistair? Because I would have... if not for my duties! Surely you know that! Besides, it's been a whirlwind of emotions since he's come back and you haven't made it easy for me, Alistair. You have avoided me! You have... no, you are acting like a child! Will you run to Redcliffe again? And not tell me? ...Do you really think I don't miss you?! I am sick and tired of sharing my bed with that man. I miss your touch; I miss you... But then you come in here, infuriated because I am with child?" Katharyne exclaimed loudly, seemingly fighting back tears.

"You would leave Cailan for me?" Alistair asked, somewhat surprised.

"You know I would, but I am the Queen. I have duties and they, unfortunately, have to come before the desires of my heart!" She replied, matter-of-factly as she pointed to her heart.

They stayed silent, avoiding each other's gaze as Katharyne sobbed silently.

"Why do you look so much like Cailan, Alistair?" Katharyne suddenly asked, sniffling as she had stopped crying.

Alistair cursed himself, knowing this question would arise sooner or later. He had taken precautions, however, to avoid it from her. ' _So why is she asking this now?_ ' He thought to himself.

"I do not look like His Majesty. Why would you ask such a thing?" Alistair replied

"You're lying, Alistair... Why are you lying to me?" Katharyne cried loudly as she got off the bed to face him. "I saw you standing next to him! You have the same nose, the same eyes... Maker, even your jaws are alike!"

"I don't. I really don't look like him..." Alistair replied, trying to keep his cool.

"Tell. Me. Why. You. Look. So. Much. Like. Cailan, Alistair!" Katharyne said, enunciating every single word.

"I don't ..."

"Alistair, tell me the truth... It's an order."

Alistair sighed as she gave him an order. He couldn't avoid the question any longer.

"Because he's my half-brother... that's why..." Alistair mumbled.

"Your... your what?" She asked, obviously confused.

"My half-brother..." He repeated. "Do you remember when we first met and I told you I was Arl Eamon's ward until King Maric brought me to Denerim? The reason he did that, well, was because King Maric was my father. Which makes Cailan my half-brother."

"So... you're not just a bastard but a royal bastard?" Katharyne snorted, shaking her head.

"Katharyne..." He whispered, feeling a sting in his heart.

"Why did you wait to tell me this? You didn't think of telling me at any point when you were in my bed?" She asked, a hurt look in her eyes.

"I would have told you but... it never really meant anything to me. I was inconvenient and could be a threat to Cailan's rule... so they kept me a secret. The only reason I was brought here by King Maric was so that I could be watched... I didn't want you to know as long as possible. I'm truly sorry." Alistair replied after a sigh.

"I've known you for years, Alistair... It's come up. You should have told me..." Katharyne said, looking at him intently.

"I know. And I'm sorry..." He whispered.

"Does Cailan know?" Katharyne asked in a small voice.

"Yes... It's why I was assigned to you. He had said to me that a Theirin must always protect his wife. And that as your friend, a knight of this realm and as his... half-brother, he wanted me to protect you in his place." Alistair answered, paraphrasing his half-brother's words.

"Is it why you're his guard once more? Because he's back?" She asked.

"In parts, yes... I didn't feel proper to be your personal guard now that he's back. I'm really not coping well with his return."

"I see..."

"Yes, anyways, that's it... That's why I look like King Maric." Alistair said, shifting on his feet.

"It's a shame you didn't tell me before. You're technically a prince. Somehow I find that very... thrilling." Katharyne sighed.

"Did I just find the one damn decent thing about my birthright?" Alistair said, trying to lighten the mood.

Katharyne couldn't help but smile a little.

"You never really went into detail as to how you came to Denerim." She said.

"As you know, I was Arl Eamon's ward. He raised me until he married an Orlesian woman. Rumours were flying that I was his bastard, the son of a serving girl. Lady Isolde packed my belongings and was ready to send me to the farthest chantry possible. However, King Maric was visiting Arl Eamon at the time and he took me in his party back to Denerim instead. I was never the religious type so I was quite happy to be going to Denerim. I was looking forward to becoming a knight, but I didn't know I was his son at the time." Alistair explained, keeping his gaze locked with hers. "I found out I was his son in my sixteenth year, at the same time as Cailan. After our fated kiss, one year after, I went to Redcliffe to clear my head... as you know."

"But that didn't work..."

"That didn't work." Alistair agreed. "Rumours started flying once more and Lady Isolde wanted me back in Denerim."

Katharyne was silent, staring down at her feet when the celebratory bells started ringing loudly.

"Katharyne... I..." Alistair started, his voice droned out by the bells.

She strained her ears to hear what he was saying but the bells were too loud. He approached her slowly and gave her a fleeting kiss on the lips before slipping out of the room through the main doors. Katharyne sat back down on the bed, dumbfounded. Alistair was a Theirin... a bastard, that was unquestionable, but still a Theirin nonetheless.

"Oh little one... if only you knew the woes you have already caused... Your father doesn't even know you're his. I didn't even get the opportunity to tell him..." She sighed as she patted her stomach lightly, tears running down her cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, did you notice I have Chapter titles now?? I thought to myself: "Why not?" but I'm the worst at coming up with names for chapters haha.


	8. VII - The Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I feel like this story is really progressing, you guy have any thoughts so far about it? I apologize about the lengths of the chapters though, I tend to go in detail very often haha. Another familiar face appears in this chapter, but it won't be at the beginning haha, I have to keep you guys hanging after all!
> 
> As always, thank you all lovely readers for reading, following, liking, etc... !
> 
> LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The characters and locations don't belong to me; they belong to Bioware and EA and I'm simply using them to fuel this thing called my muse.

Five moons had passed since it was announced that the Queen was with child and Katharyne’s belly was getting larger by the week. The royal physician had put her on bed rest as soon as she had shown signs of swelling, two moons ago. The King had also been forbidden from any nightly activities with her and Katharyne was surprised that he didn’t take any mistresses to his bed, as kings were often known to do when their queen couldn’t meet their needs.

‘ _Lady Anora Mac Tir has been around him a lot lately, however..._ ’ Katharyne thought to herself as she stared at the ceiling.

The restless queen was pacing in her room again. After a whole day of lying in bed, it was now night and she couldn’t sleep. All the changes she had wanted to implement were almost done and she wasn’t needed anymore. She had nothing to do but lay in bed and read, knit or draw; all activities that she loathed in large quantities. Instead, she decided on doing exercises that Shianni had suggested to her.

She was lying down on the plush carpet, stretching her legs when she heard a small familiar click, like a lock being picked. Her automatic instinct was to look at the large oaken doors that led into her room, but she saw shadows dancing in the moonlight that was spilling from the windows. Katharyne got up as quickly as her body could let her and turned to face her balcony door where two masked male figures were standing.

One was shorter and Katharyne noticed he had pointy ears. ‘ _An elf?_ ’ Was the first thought that ran through her mind. The taller man had dark hair and a darker complexion, and was clearly a human. A dark kerchief covered both of their faces. The human man’s grey eyes seemingly glowed in the moonlight.

“Is she the one, Zev?” His voice asked the elf.

“Yes” Answered the elf in an Antivan accent.

“She’s prettier than I expected... Truly, the coins do not do her justice. And she’s with child to top it all! Ha!” The man said, a lecherous look in his eyes.

“Now, Taliesen... You can’t have fun with her. We’re here for her and the child...” The elf replied in a matter-of-factly voice.

“Please... Please take whatever you want... But please don’t hurt me... Please don’t hurt me or my baby...” Katharyne pleaded, trying to make her way towards her bed, stopped by the man who made his way in front of her.

“Oh, darling, we can’t do that... We came for something that will hurt. But first, I think I will have fun with you, and decide what to do later...” The human man chuckled as he kept approaching her, making her back away into the wall closest to her vanity.

“No... No, please...” She let out a soft sob as she leaned on the wall, gripping the stone as best she could. The man pulled down on his kerchief, a large grin on his face as his gaze trailed down her body. Katharyne shut her eyes tightly, cursing herself for keeping her dagger under her bed, far from where she was standing. She winced as she felt a blade to her neck and a rough hand on her shoulder.

“Forgive me, Alistair...” She said lowly, crying and shaking as the man’s hand trailed down to her right breast.

She suddenly felt the man stiffen and let go of his grasp before she heard a large thud. She opened one eye and saw the elf standing in front of her, putting away his dagger. The other man was on the ground, a large red stain spreading on the light carpet from his abdomen.

“You...” She started.

“Now, you listen to me very carefully.” The elf cut her off. “I will spare you but you must disappear.”

“How? I can’t just leave. I am... I am with child.” Katharyne replied, worried.

“I will help you. We will fake your death.”

“H-How?” Katharyne asked, staggering to her bed.

“It doesn’t matter how... You pack a bag, and I will be back in two hours. You must cut your hair and dress into something inconspicuous.”

Katharyne simply nodded before the elf nimbly walked out by the balcony door and hopped off.

She stared up at her canopy, perplexed for a few moments before snapping out of her reverie. She walked as fast as her plump body could support her. She packed a bag with a few essentials, the simplest clothes she could find. She slipped on an unassuming tunic over her nightdress and tied a warm brown wool travel cloak over her shoulders. She sat down at her vanity and stared at her reflection for a few moments, playing with her long and thick tresses. She took out a pair of clippers and aligned them with the hair at her shoulders. She snipped, the long hair falling to the ground. She sighed but didn’t linger to look at it. Instead, she kicked it under her vanity.

Right after she had done so, she saw the elf climb back in through the balcony, carrying a woman. He didn’t seem like it, but he was definitely nimble and strong. He dropped the woman on the bed and Katharyne noticed the woman was also with child. The most unnerving part, however, was the clear stab wound on her bosom.

“Did you kill an innocent woman?” She asked, baffled.

“My dear lady, I may be an assassin, but I am not a ruthless killer. This woman was already dead. I went to the Chantry’s hall of the dead and found a decoy. She was to be cremated by the morrow” He said, dressing the body into an extra chemise.

“A decoy? But she looks nothing like me...” Katharyne replied.

“After a fire she will.” The elf answered plainly as he started to spread oil around the room and its furnishings.

“Ah, a fire... Of course...” Katharyne replied. “Let me help you...”

“No no, dear lady, you are with child. I am fine on my own, so please sit down.” The elf replied.

Katharyne did as she was told, observing the elf. Once he finished spreading oil all over her room, he put his large pack on his shoulders and waved her over. Katharyne pulled her pack over her shoulders and walked over to the balcony door as the elf took his colleague’s corpse and swung it over his shoulders as well. He lit a candle and threw it in a corner, setting the oil aflame. The elf and Katharyne walked through the servants’ passage and down the steps leading out of the tower through the servants’ quarters.

They reached the lower level leading to the lower town just as alarm bells started ringing. Katharyne glanced up the hill towards the castle and noticed smoke rising from her quarters. She turned her back away, sniffing away tears as they made their way out of the city to a horse and wooden open carriage. The elf dumped the corpse down a nearby drain before he helped her climb in the carriage and then settling on the horse. She took once last glance at the city as they departed.

“Goodbye, Alistair...” She whispered, wiping away tears.

“No...” Alistair whispered to himself as he saw the smouldering remains of the queen’s chambers. He glanced at the charred corpse lying on the bed, trying to control his shaking. He made to reach and touch her body but was pulled back slightly by Duncan.

“Your majesty... This was no accident” Duncan’s gentle voice said.

Alistair turned around and saw that the man was holding remnants of leather emblazoned with what looked like the Antivan Crows’ emblem.

“The queen was murdered and the crows clearly wanted us to find her like this...” Alistair couldn’t help but say.

Cailan was on his knees, facing the bed and sobbing in his hands. “My darling lady.... my love... my queen! Who would do this to you! Why would anyone murder you and our child? After all you have done...”

“Orlesians… Clearly, they are trying to instil fear before conquering us once more.” Teyrn Loghain alleged.

“No, Empress Celene was anticipating to meet her soon…” Cailan said between sobs.

“Then, you will move on from this, your majesty, you are still young and eligible… My daughter Anora-“

“My queen has only been gone hours and you dare suggest this? Like you had suggested my father?” Cailan exclaimed.

“I… I apologize, your majesty.” Teyrn Loghain said with a regretful look in his eyes, Alistair noticing a small sneer.

“But how could such a thing happen?” Sergeant Kylon asked as he paced the room. “The room was constantly guarded to ensure her late majesty would listen to the royal physician’s instructions. And Ida was always at her side when she wasn’t sleeping.”

“The balcony…” Alistair whispered, remembering their late nights and how he once used it to come in her room.

“Alistair is right. The assassin must’ve come in through her balcony while she was sleeping. And left by it, it seems…” Duncan agreed as he opened and closed the charred metal doors. The glass was missing and Alistair could hear the cries of the citizens down below. He fought back his own anguish as he looked around the room.

“Kylon, send for the grand cleric. We must give her a proper burial.” Cailan whispered as he got up to leave the room, Kylon and Teyrn Loghain on his tail.

Once the men were gone, Alistair felt a small tap on his shoulder. “You should pay your respects, Alistair…” Duncan’s voice said, Alistair nodding lightly as the man also left the room.

He fell to his knees once he was alone, no longer fighting back his anguish. He felt tears falling down his cheeks, grief washing over him.

“I love you…” Was all he could whisper as he touched the charred body lightly.

Katharyne woke up, feeling the sun’s warmth on her eyes. She opened her eyes and blinked a few times, adjusting to the sunlight, remembering what happened. She sat up in the straw that was spread beneath her and noticed the blond elf sitting at the front of the carriage, directing the auburn horse.

“Ah, you are awake!” The elf said in his Antivan accent.

“Yes…” She answered meekly.

“You must be hungry, please… eat something. You will find cured meats and cheeses in my brown pack” He said, keeping his eyes on the dirt road. Katharyne eyed him suspiciously.

“Now now, my lady, if I had intended on poisoning you, I would have done so earlier…” The elf said, seemingly knowing she was staring at him.

Katharyne nodded and started digging through his pack slowly, taking out a loaf of bread and cheese. She started ripping off some small pieces to eat. She munched slowly on her food, observing the elf. He had tanned skin, neck-length golden hair and a tattoo on the left side of his face.

“What is your name, ser?” She asked him between bites.

“Ha! Ser? Me? I’m only Zevran, son of a whore and Antivan Crow. My friends call me Zev.” He responded with a chuckle.

“Surely, you jest… Who would say they are the son of a whore?”

“A son of a whore would say they are… I am quite serious, dear lady.”

“Please call me Katharyne. I’m no longer a lady…” She whispered.

“But you are of noble birth, therefore you are a lady” He answered, matter-of-factly.

“Please…”

“Very well, my la-Katharyne…” He answered.

Katharyne slid down to the front of the carriage where he was sitting, leaning her arms on the side.

“May I ask you something?”

“Yes, of course”

“Why did you decide to spare me?”

“Must I have a reason to spare a beautiful woman? Especially one with child?” Zevran chuckled.

“Please let me know… That can’t be the real reason…”

“You whispered another man’s name instead of your beloved, king Cailan’s. You tell me why and I will tell you my reason.”

“I can’t…”

“Then I will not tell you” He answered, a smirk appearing on his face.

Katharyne sighed as she turned away, looking at the nature surrounding them.

“Cailan was never my beloved…” She whispered after a few moments of reflection. “I met the love of my life in my seventh year. His name is Alistair. He was a squire, and I was engaged to Cailan. He became my friend and then… well we became closer. We were separated for a little while after we kissed once… and then…” She sighed. “Then we rekindled our relationship, while the king was away.”

“So, the child you are carrying… Is it King Cailan’s or that Alistair, was it?” Zevran asked.

“The child is Alistair’s…”

“A child to be born out of love, in a loveless marriage… How dramatic! I must say I am happy I decided to spare you then.” The elf said.

“So why did you? You said you would answer…” Katharyne said as the elf sighed,

“Yes, I did say that, didn’t I? Alright… I was born to a Dalish elven mother in Antiva City. She had fallen in love with an elven woodcutter and followed him to Antiva City. He died suddenly and she was forced into a life of prostitution in Rialto to pay off his debts. She died soon after giving birth to me and I was raised with other orphans by the prostitutes in the brothel until my seventh year. My cunning and skill in stealing brought me to the attention of the Antivan Crows. They paid off the remainder of my mother’s debt, leaving me _compradi_ , or purchased.”

Katharyne was silent as the elf spoke, unsure about what to say.

“I had heard of you, the Queen Katharyne of Ferelden… ‘the reform queen’ as the elves call you. News of your reforms in Denerim and Ferelden reached the Dalish and other alienages around Thedas. I am told that they were impressed, which is rare for them. They aren’t usually impressed by ‘shemlen’ or any human news for that matter.”

“Who hired you to kill me then? And why?”

“Taliesen is the one who accepted the original contract. Our mission was to eliminate you and your child, I do not know why.”

“Why were there two of you? I thought the Crows worked alone…”

“I just happened to be here with Taliesen and our contact had said you were quite fierce… that you might fight back. But, as you seemed ready to accept your fate, I was reminded of what you did, for the elves. And your whisper of Ser Alistair’s name triggered something inside of me… And here we are.” The elf finished talking, prompting the horses to go faster.

“Where will I go from here?”

“We could settle in the little town of Lothering or somewhere in the Bannorn.”

“We? What do you mean ‘we’?”

“I do not feel right leaving you alone with child. Therefore, I will stay with you until you see fit. I will come and go, as I must stay an assassin”

“Thank you…” Katharyne nodded at his surprising kindness.


	9. VIII - The Start of a New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, we are catching up to where I have finished posting on FF.net! I have some free time today so I might as well get there. School started and it's been a wild ride since. I'm a History major with a double minor in TESL and Japanese. So the readings are keeping me busy. I'm also a TA actually so... quite busy!
> 
> As always, thank you all lovely readers for reading, following, liking, reviewing, etc... !
> 
> LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The characters and locations don’t belong to me; they belong to Bioware and EA and I’m simply using them to fuel this thing called my muse.

The long journey to Lothering lasted 10 days, and Katharyne was surprised that the elf’s company was quite pleasant. He was caring and would do his best so that she would be comfortable. They arrived at the outskirts of Lothering before sundown. Zevran slowed down the horse to a trot as he turned to her.

“Before we arrive in Lothering, search in my pack. There is a potion in there from an apostate mage friend of mine. It will turn your hair blonde. Your hair might be shorter but your face is still on some coins, so this is just as an extra precaution.”

Once they arrived in Lothering, Zevran left her with the carriage and started bartering. He was able to secure a three-room furnished dwelling on the outskirts of the village by the next day. He explained that the previous owner was a celibate man who had passed away without any heirs, leaving a farm and its land to Arl Leonas Bryland of South Reach. He had been able to acquire the land thanks to the new law and the bit of money that they had.

“The Arl expects us to work for the land and pay the tax like other villagers, however…” Zevran had said as he helped her out of the carriage, having unsaddled the horse and parked the carriage in the stable.

“How am I supposed to work the land? I am with child, in case you have not noticed.” Katharyne laughed as she held on to his hand and stepped off the carriage.

“I saw a tavern on our way through the village but that is no place for a lady… Especially a pregnant lady” The elf said as he grabbed the packs from the back of the carriage. They made their way towards the small dwelling, a three-room farmhouse with a crumbling roof, four windows and white stone frame.

“A tavern? How difficult must it be? Pouring and serving meads, ales and spirits? It cannot be that difficult.” She stated as he opened the wooden door for her.

“But it is no place for-”

“A lady. Yes, I know” Katharyne finished. “But I am but a peasant now and must do what I must for my child and I.”

Katharyne looked around the dwelling. She stood in the middle of a rectangular room with two doors to her left, a stove at the back next to a window and a wooden table with three chairs. Zevran simply nodded as he dropped her pack in the only room that had a door, the farthest at the back next to the cooking area. She stepped into what seemed to be quarters now and noticed a straw bed in the corner next to a window and a small mirror on a dresser. The whole dwelling smelled stuffy and there were cobwebs in every corner.

Over the first few weeks, Katharyne and Zevran managed to repair the roof and make the dwelling much more livable. And after a few moons, Katharyne had been able to settle in her role as tavern maiden but could only take care of the lower level of the place as she was getting bigger by the day. Because the patrons adored her, the tavern owner Danal or his daughter Ava didn’t mind running the drinks upstairs if it was needed.

“So, Eleanor… When is that child due?” Danal asked as Katharyne grabbed the tray of drinks and a pitcher of mead he was handing her.

“Oh… It must be in a few days, Maker only knows!” She chuckled as she balanced the tray on her arm and held the pitcher tightly.

“You should be in bed, resting then!” Ava exclaimed.

“Oh, nonsense... I can still walk. Besides, Leandra said I can still work as long as I can walk with no problem!” Katharyne explained as she walked over slowly to serve the drinks.

“How will we even be able to recognize you without that belly of yours, Eleanor?” One of the regular patrons exclaimed, arising a few chuckles from the other regulars.

“Oh, I don’t know dear ser. We will soon find out, I presume!” She replied cheerfully as she walked to the next table to drop the mead pitcher, wincing a little, feeling a little bit more pressure on her stomach than usual.

She waddled back to the bar and grabbed a few jugs of mead to bring them to the waiting patrons. As she walked, she felt a sharp pain in her stomach but decided to ignore it. She took a deep breath and kept walking, giving the patrons their ale. As she waddled back to the bar, she slipped on a liquid and one of the patrons grabbed her before she fell to the ground.

“Eleanor, are you alright?” The man asked as the tavern fell silent.

“Did anyone spill their drink?” She asked as she fumbled to get up to walk back to the bar, feeling another sharp pain in her stomach.

“Eleanor… Your legs are wet.” The patron who caught her said as he stared at the back of her green skirt.

“Wet?” She looked down. “Oh no… No no no… It’s time.” She whispered as her face twisted in pain, dropping her tray to the ground to clutch her stomach. Danal almost jumped over the bar as he ran over to approach her.

“Everyone out! Ava, close the tavern! I need to bring her to the Hawke farm” He exclaimed as he motioned his daughter over and the patrons started filing out of the tavern. He grabbed her by the shoulders and walked out of the tavern. “Garrett, get your mother and sister. Eleanor is giving birth!” Danal barked at the tall dark haired and hazel-eyed man that was sitting underneath a tree near the Hawke farm, on the outskirts of Lothering. He nodded and ran ahead of them. He came out of the house a few moments later, followed by Leandra and Katharyne’s new friend, Bethany and her twin Carver. Garrett and Carver brought her into the house, leaving Danal outside. They laid her down gently on a bed in one of the closest rooms, on a thick blanket and pillows.

“Alright now, Eleanor… I’ll take a look and see how far along you are.” Leandra said in a soothing voice as she raised her legs gently before Bethany laid a cloth over her. Katharyne nodded as it was done, hissing in pain.

“You seem to be quite far along…” Leandra observed before turning to Bethany. “My girl, go fetch some hot and cold water! And quickly! Carver, help your sister! Garrett, stay by Eleanor’s side.” Katharyne could hear Leandra shouting orders but her vision was blurring through the pain as she screamed when she felt another sharp pain. She felt a presence next to her, a large rugged hand grabbing hers. “You’re fine, Eleanor… Mother’s here… We’re here.” She heard Garrett Hawke’s voice whisper as she clutched his hand.

“N-No… I must… Alistair… I want to tell… Not yet…!” She whispered between breaths, screaming in pain. She squirmed and held onto Hawke’s hand until her knuckles were white. Bethany laid a cloth of cold water on her forehead and patted down the perspiration on her brow.

“Eleanor, you must push every time you feel the surge of pain” Leandra explained as she did everything she could to help, at the foot of the bed. Katharyne nodded and pushed as she felt another spasm of pain. She pushed each time there was a surge of pain, feeling feverish through the agony. “One more push, Eleanor!” She heard Leandra’s voice.

“Who’s Eleanor…?” Katharyne whispered in her delirium before she pushed one last time, feeling the baby slip out of her. She fell back on the pillows, panting loudly. She felt Garrett patting down her brow, heard shuffling around but no crying.

“Why… is there no crying?” She asked weakly. “No… Why isn’t my baby crying…?” She cried out as Hawke held her tightly. “Let go, Garrett… Let me see my baby!” She screamed, shaking.

She saw a faint green glow through her blurry vision and finally hear short cries from her newborn child.

“Congratulations, it’s a boy.” Leandra said as she handed the infant to Katharyne.

Katharyne smiled as she held her son, stroking his soft golden hair gently. She heard the Hawkes leave the room and she started nursing her son. As soon as he was done, they both fell asleep within moments. Katharyne woke up a few hours later, finding a basket next to her bed with her son sleeping peacefully in it.

“You’re awake, I see” She heard a voice say in the corner of the room. Katharyne looked up and noticed Garrett sitting in the corner, reading a book.

“I should leave...” Katharyne said sitting up in the bed.

“My mother said you weren’t to leave until she said so.” He replied, looking up from his book.

“But I’m intruding… I should have never accepted Bethany and your mother’s offer to help”

“No buts. You know we’re your friends and we don’t mind.” He stated simply as she argued.

“But this is your room, is it not?” She asked, still trying to get out of bed. Garrett sighed, pushing her gently back under the covers. “Yes, but you are no trouble.” He added as he sat on the side of the bed.

Katharyne nodded as the baby started to squirm. She reached down to bring him to her breast once again. She turned back to Garrett who simply stared at her suspiciously.

“Who’s Alistair?” He asked. “Is he the father of your child?”

“Yes…” She nodded.

“Who are you really?” He asked again.

“What? I’m Eleanor…”

“No, you’re not. You were puzzled by your name during your delirium.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“W-What? No no… It must have been because of the delirium…” She answered meekly as she burped her child.

“Your hair might be shorter and blonde, but your eyes are a mint green… And your nose is very much like our late queen.” He added, having brought out a silver and holding it up to her for comparison. “You’re Katharyne Cousland, our late queen… Are you not?” He whispered.

She couldn’t hide it any longer and nodded slightly. “Is the child the reason you ran away…? Because he is the child of that Alistair?” Garrett asked.

“Yes… No… An Antivan Crow was hired to kill me and instead decided to spare me… Alistair is my childhood friend, the love of my life and… and Cailan’s half-brother…” She stated as she put her child back in the basket.

“Half-brother…? That’s news to me…”

“No one knows… it’s a Theirin secret… Cailan doesn’t know that I know…”

“The Antivan Crow you mentioned…Did you mean the elf who comes and goes from your farm? I thought he was a merchant”

“Yes, it was Zevran.” Katharyne confessed. “Please… Hawke… Garrett, please keep all of this a secret.” She begged him.

“Of course. It’s not my secret to tell. But won’t the villagers talk? That might have negative repercussions…”

“Let them talk…” She said as she looked down at her sleeping son, enjoying a moment of silence.

“Do you want to marry me?”


	10. IX - The Life in Lothering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think about bringing in the Hawkes? Since there are no darkspawn, there is no Blight and Lothering doesn't get destroyed so… They are still there. We are finally caught up to where I finished on FF.net, awesome!
> 
> As always, thank you all lovely readers for reading, following, liking, commenting, etc... !
> 
> LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The characters and locations don't belong to me; they belong to Bioware and EA and I'm simply using them to fuel this thing called my muse.

“Do you want to marry me?” Hawke suddenly asked.

“What?” She exclaimed in confusion.

“It would not be a true, consummated marriage. Since I know you would never love me like you love that Alistair… But it would be a way for your son to have a father and the villagers won’t have anything to say about him being a bastard. We could ask the revered mother to bless the union, but we won’t be truly married.

“You’ll make Carver insanely jealous and angry you know…” She whispered, considering the idea.

“Right, he confessed his love to you a few weeks after you arrived in the village, didn’t he?” He smiled lightly.

“Yes… He was heartbroken… But Garrett, I can’t. No, I shouldn’t…” She said.

“Think of it as further protection. If guards ever notice that you look like the so-called late queen, wouldn’t it be more suspicious if you’re a single mother? And you said your Alistair looked slightly like Cailan, did you not? What if he grows up to look like Cailan?” Garrett said as he held her gaze. “Then people will really talk and wonder, no matter what you have said about your son’s father”

What Garrett was saying made sense to Katharyne. “We will be people living together under a ruse then…” She said as she was thinking. “Alright Garrett… Thank you…” She nodded, grateful.

They both agreed to live on her farm, far from prying eyes, and fabricated a story where the boy’s father had died a few moons ago and therefore she could not marry until her period of mourning was over. They explained to the revered mother that they wanted to raise her son together. A few days later, the revered mother who, surprisingly, had agreed to bless their union until the mourning period was over set their ruse in stone.

…

Over a year and a half had passed and Katharyne had been raising her growing son away from prying eyes, with help from Garrett and his family once in a while. Each day, her son was looking more and more like Alistair, his golden hair an exact replica of his father’s as a child, albeit curly. The shape of his eyes was the same, except they were mint-green with flecks of gold and amber. Watching him grow and become like his father was paining Katharyne, who missed Alistair awfully each day.

“I heard today that the King has remarried this week past” Garrett said as they ate at the table inside the farmhouse, Katharyne feeding her son a mixture of chicken and farm vegetables. “Although, if the rumours are true, he remarried quite unhappily.”

“Oh? Is that so? It makes sense, it has been just a little over two years since my ‘death’… His mourning period is over.” She said, looking up at Garrett. “Who is the lucky lady?”

“Lady Anora Mac Tir”

“Ha! How happy she must be to finally be queen.” Katharyne exclaimed with spite in her voice, turning her focus back to her son.

“What do you mean? If anyone heard you berate the new queen…” He started.

“Oh Garrett… Don’t worry.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure the woman has been wanting to be queen ever since she was a little girl. Her father, Teyrn Loghain, although born a commoner, was the late King Maric’s best friend and advisor. She has grown up being at the castle, like me. When I was there, she never seemed to like me and was always very cold towards me. Possibly, because there had been talks of her marrying Cailan until I was born. King Maric preferred to have the ‘Daughter of Highever’ as his son’s wife.” Katharyne explained as she finished feeding her son. “The woman was always fawning all over Cailan, whether I was there or not. I never loved Cailan but I didn’t like the way she acted. However, he always rebuffed her advances, but it seems it has paid off.” She added with a sneer.

“Maybe Teyrn Loghain begged him to marry her… I also heard she convinced her kingly husband to name him regent because Cailan has been bedridden.” Garrett added as he took a sip of his water.

“Bedridden? The king is sick?” Katharyne exclaimed as she washed her son’s face.

“Yes, I was told it has been at least a moon since he has been bedridden.”

“It’s surprising…”

“What is?”

“Cailan being sick… In all the years I’ve known him has never once been sick. And now he’s sick and Loghain has become regent…?” She said, a sceptical tone in her voice as she watched her son play around the room.

“What are you suggesting?”

“I just think it is highly suspicious that Cailan is sick now that he’s married to Anora and Loghain was declared regent. The man never liked me and I’ve always felt he was very ambitious, although also very paranoid about the Orlesians invading again.”

“You don’t think that… Maybe-”

“Maybe he got Cailan sick so the man would agree to marry his daughter and make himself regent? It’s exactly what I’m thinking, Garrett…” She sighed, shaking her head. “I have a weird feeling and I should ask Zevran something when he comes back.”

Garrett seemed puzzled before he looked at her strangely. “You don’t think his employer was Teyrn Loghain?” He said.

“It was…” She heard the familiar accent say as she looked up and saw Zevran at the front door. He closed it behind him before he sat down in front of her and Garrett. Her son waddled up to the elf and giggled, “Zev-zev!” raising his arms to be picked up.

“Hi Fionn” Zevran smiled as obliged, giving a pained smile as he sat the boy down on his lap. “You must have questions… It’s time that I answer them.” He turned to Katharyne.

“Zevran, your employer was Loghain?”

“Yes.”

“Did he explain why he hired you?”

“He did not explain it to Taliesen and myself personally, however, I overheard him speaking with his daughter and another man I did not recognize. He said, and I quote, that you were a nuisance and had to be eliminated before you made Ferelden weak to be taken by the Orlesians once more. He hated the changes you had made to the laws, giving the elves much more freedom. I remember him saying he would do anything to return things to the way that they once were. He asked us to get rid of you by any means necessary, making it look like an accident was preferable.” Zevran explained, bouncing the boy up and down on his knee.

Katharyne couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh. “Such a petty man! Stuck in his out-dated traditions and paranoia of the Orlesians… Who are, might I add, lovely people albeit slightly self-centered and eccentric.” She said as she got up from her chair to put away the used dishes. She walked back to the table and reached for her son who gladly latched onto her. “Good riddance, I say!”

“Katharyne, you don’t mean that surely-” Garrett started before they heard a loud pounding at the door.

“Open up! This is the King’s Guard!” Was yelled behind the door. Garrett glanced at Katharyne and Zevran before he got up from his chair and went to open the door.

“Yes, how may I help you?” He asked the guards politely.

“We have reports from villagers that you are harbouring an assassin. We have followed him all the way to Lothering. By order of King Cailan and his regent, Teyrn Loghain, we are to search your house and…”

Katharyne gasped, droning out the words as she heard the voice of the guard addressing Hawke. “No… it can’t be…” She whispered to herself. “Not him…”

Her suspicions were confirmed when the tall figure stepped inside the house, brushing his blond hair back slightly. Other guards filing in followed him. Zevran didn’t move from his seat, simply staring at the guards, sitting calmly.

Alistair noticed the elf and approached the table. She was thankful he hadn’t noticed her yet and started to step back towards the door to her room, rocking her child slightly.

“Ser knight, I will come with you if you promise not to hurt my friend and his… ehh… wife. They only thought I was a merchant” Zevran said as he pointed to Garrett and then Katharyne.

It was then that Katharyne saw _his_ eyes look up and lock with hers. His brow furrowed before his eyes widened in confusion.

Alistair looked at the woman with shoulder-length brown hair standing near the back wall, facing him. Her mint-green eyes locked with his, sending a familiar sensation through his body. _‘Those eyes…’_ He thought they looked familiar but that was impossible. The only woman to have had those eyes had passed away two years prior. He saw the familiar eyes widen and she seemed to shake her head from side to side in disbelief, a single tear trailing down her cheek. He looked down and noticed she was holding a child, whose mint-green golden-flecked eyes were fixated on him.

“She can’t be… her..” Alistair whispered as the woman reached for the door closest to her and slipped inside the room quickly. He snapped out of his trance when the door slammed shut.

“Ser…! The woman… What should we-” One of the soldiers exclaimed.

“Soldier, take the elf to the Arl’s castle until we are ready to leave. Take the friend as well, for interrogation. I will go fetch the wife.” He ordered loudly.

“Alone, ser?” One of the soldiers asked.

“Yes, Ser Dominic. She is a woman with a child. I will be fine.” He sighed.

He waited until the guards had custody of the elf and the dark-haired man he called his friend before he approached the door. He opened it slightly, looking through the small crack. He saw the woman frantically packing some belongings and clothes in a leather bag, her child sitting on the bed, playing with some bauble. Alistair was unsure if he should approach the woman, in case his suspicions were unfounded. He saw she grabbed a bow and a quiver before she put the pack on her shoulders. She approached the child who suddenly looked towards the door.

“Mama! Look!” He squealed as he pointed to the door gleefully. She grabbed her child and spun around quickly. Her eyes widened and before he could even react, she made a run for the window and jumped out.

“Wait!!” Alistair yelled.


End file.
